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Anger management: Expert answers to common questions
What is counseling for anger management, and how does it work?
Out-of-control anger is a learned behavior, so you have to unlearn it. It may help to get counseling or to take an anger management class to help change your response to frustrating situations.
- Anger management counseling can help you identify what triggers your anger, recognize that signs you're becoming angry and learn how to respond to your frustrations in a healthy way. Also called therapy or psychotherapy, counseling for anger management is done by a licensed mental health counselor or psychologist. It can be done one-on-one, or with your partner or other family members. Even people with serious anger issues can usually learn how to manage their anger better after eight to 10 sessions of anger counseling. Anger management counseling also provides an opportunity to explore what other feelings you may have going on, such as sadness due to depression.
- An anger management class is a course to teach you how to express your anger in a controlled, healthy way. It teaches you about what anger is, how to recognize your anger triggers, how to become aware of your feelings of anger, and how to keep your anger under control. Like counseling, an anger management class may be done individually, with your partner or family, or in groups.
Do you need an anger management class or counseling?
Not everyone who gets angry needs an anger management class or counseling. You may get ticked that your television remote control doesn't work and throw it across the room. Do you have an anger management issue if that's about the extent of your anger? Probably not. However, anger is a common emotion, and learning how to keep it under control is a challenge for everyone at times.
- If your anger regularly causes you to do things you regret, hurts those around you, or is taking a toll on your personal relationships, you can likely benefit from either counseling or an anger management course.
- If you have run-ins with the police, you physically harm someone, people are afraid of your reactions, or you try to intimidate someone with your anger, you definitely need help controlling your anger. You may benefit from an anger management class, counseling or both.
Can anger harm your health?
There is some evidence that inappropriately expressing anger can be harmful to your health. Whether you're overly passive and keep your anger pent up, whether you're prone to violent outbursts, or whether you're quietly seething with rage, you may have headaches, sleep difficulties, high blood pressure or digestive problems. There's even some evidence that stress and hostility related to anger can lead to heart attacks.
What can you do if you're confronted by someone whose anger is out of control?
Usually the most rational thing to do, if possible, is to walk away. If you stay, the situation may escalate into violence. It's important to take reasonable precautions to protect yourself if leaving the situation is difficult or impossible, and to not engage the other person in a manner that's likely to increase the angry behavior.
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- Karren KJ, et al. Mind Body Health. 4th ed. San Francisco, Calif.: Pearson Education; 2010:95.
- Controlling anger — before it controls you. American Psychological Association. http://www.apa.org. Accessed May 27, 2009.
- Barbara Woodward Lips Patient Education Center. Understanding anger. Rochester, Minn.: Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research; 2004.
