Mayo Clinic Health Manager

Get free personalized health guidance for you and your family.

Free

E-Newsletter

Subscribe to receive the latest updates on health topics. About our newsletters

• Housecall
• Alzheimer's caregiving
• Living with cancer

• February 3, 2010 1:12 p.m.

  HELP.. My dad has dimentia. Medium stages. He wants to be outside all the time. We have a GPS bracelet on him, but we are still scared he will walk off if we are not watching him closely).. Would a fenced in (locked)yard help, or would he strive to get out of it also. I think he feels he is trapped being inside. He even wants out when it is freezing cold, burning hot or raining. Has anyone had this outside problem and has anyone tried a fenced yard? I would like to hear from others on this before I spend a lot of money fencing the yard.

  - JJ

• January 31, 2010 5:25 p.m.

  There was a report on the news that ARB and ACE Inhibitors can reduce the likelihood of Alzheimer's by up to sixty-four percent. I take Hyzaar for hypertension. Does Hyzaar provide the protection suggested above?

  - Donald

• January 22, 2010 10:27 a.m.

  my spouse has alway's been a slow learner,with little education. alway's been imaculate homemaker & very good at alot of thing's. but never seemed to be to interested in learning new things ,more or less just go w/the-flo.Now her doctor say,s dementia, without a cat scan & 2yr's ago she fell & struck her head & ER did a cat scan & found nothing,therefore I fimly believe it is connected to her slow learning ability.& I just can't accept diagnosis (she will not take any medicine & believe me she has never been sick ) 75yr's. old.

  - melvin

• January 19, 2010 7:37 p.m.

  My mother does not reside with me, she resides with my sister and her family. I am the daughter who is responsible for taking her to all of her Dr.'s appointments, physical therapy, and anywhere else that she needs to go since I am the daughter that has transportation.This presents a dilemma for me in that everytime she sees me she wants to know if I am coming to take her home and I am always feeling guilty because she gets so sad when I leave without her. She is in the stage of the disease now where she does not want to be by herself for a second.She has started falling a lot which is also very troubling . I and others in my family are starting to see signs of caregiver burnout in my sister , but convincing her of it is like pulling teeth. Whenever one of the other siblings offers to take her for a visit, my sister acts as though we are offending her(sister). We just ignore that, and take her anyway.All of us want Mommy to be home with familly as long as possible , but we all know that the decision to place her in a facility is looming right around the corner . It is one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with in my life. I just hope that we can all come to a concensus on what is best for our mother and still be a supportive family unit for her.

  - Diana

• January 7, 2010 11:20 p.m.

  My dad is 59 years old and was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's in the summer of 2008. Now, doctors think he may not have Alzheimer's, but rather frontotemporal dementia. He has been deteriorating over the last few years, and now requires 24-hour care. He is unresponsive, is only able to speak short one or two-word sentences, refuses to bathe and take his medicine, and becomes very hostile (to the point of punching or throwing things at caregivers). His current residence (who specialize in Alzheimer's) refuse to keep him anymore, and we are now in the process of finding him a new home at a nursing facility. It has been absolute hell to see him deteriorate like this, and I can't explain how much it hurts to think or how he feels, how scary it must be for him. I live in VA and he is in MA; luckily my aunt, his sister, lives nearby in MA and is taking care of him while I can only visit a few times a year. Thank god for her, I don't know how I could have possibly dealt with this on my own, as a 23 year old college student. While his disease takes its toll, all I can hope for is to make him as comfortable as possible.

  - Jessica

• January 5, 2010 4:37 p.m.

  My mother has dementia and has been treated for the past two years for serious depression and memory decline. I have watched my spunky bright intellegent mother give up her home, her car because of the disease. Recently I was laid off my job and I have committed myself to stay home with my mother. The hardest part for me is not the memory lost but her anger at me. She told me the other night I ruined her life. It hurts but it also makes me stronger to be there for my mother as a loving, supportive caregiver. I need to learn and read all the information out there on how to cope, answer her question, and try to make her as comfortable as possible. My mother wants to live in Portland with one of her sisters. She has been fixated on this idea for over two weeks. She has been miserable and claims I am stopping her from moving to Portland. In fact it isn't me who is stopping her, it is her sister that won't allow it. We tell my mother over and over that living with her sister is not an option. She has spent days in her room stewing, crying, angry at me. I can feel the negetively in the room. Today is better but I know she could slip back into this delusion at any moment. So my biggest challenge is to keep my spirits up and be strong for her. This is not easy for me, I have fought depression all my life. My mother's condition has given me a chance to change my life for the better. I am a stronger person for her and ultimatly for my husband and children. J

  - Janet

• December 16, 2009 10:59 a.m.

  Hi I am 53 years old and I think I have early memory loss. I had multiple surgeries in the past four years. I brought it up to the Drs. that I can't remeber if I took my medicene, or a name of someone, a date, I have to ask someone else, very frusterating, and I was always called the walking computer, now I am afraid, I am getting like my dad...but the Drs. say it is short term memory loss and it will come back in time, well its been over a year and I seem worse rather than better...has this happened to anyone else? Is this the beginning of the end? Any advice would behelpful...Thankyou...does the brain games for DS work? I live in a foggy memory..like a brick wall..please tell me this is normal...Linda

  - Linda

• December 8, 2009 8:16 a.m.

  Hi... My life seems to have ended in the changes that my 51 year old wonderful husband of 30 years has decided to make in our lives. He has lost his $60+ a year job, he is having an affair with a women that is not like anything that he has ever been with (dirty, uncaring about anything but herself, sexually out there), he moved her into our home and then lost our beautiful home to forclousure, divorced me without any explainations at all, will not communicate with our 2 son's or our Grandchildren. But when he has the opportunity to see me or talk with me he is with me for about 10 minutes and he starts to be like himself, he begins to smile, he walks around touching the clean things in my townhouse, he always has to hug me and give me a kiss before he walks back into his fogg of a life. If he hears that I am trying to move forward with my life, away from him, which is so hard for me, I know something is so horrifically wrong with this wonderful man that I still cry often. He trys to find out if I would take him back home... just as soon as he thinks that might be a possibility for him he becomes arrigant, mean, and says things that are so untrue of our life and his time with his me that it has caused me to suffer TIA's and is affecting my health. I've just yesterday had to turn the alimony over to the Friend of the court so he cannot continue to horde his ability to devistate me at his becken call. I've tried speaking with Doctors, family, our son's, her. Love does hurt.

  - Krista

• December 4, 2009 6:59 p.m.

  In 2002 my mother was diagnose with Alzheimer's. Since then she has continued to deteriorate. She gradually lost the ability to do basic things such as bath herself, dress herself, etc. A few months ago she took a major turn for the worse when she began showing signs of hallucinating and she became very fearful but could not explain what she was afraid of. Her family doctor prescribed Risperdal as well as making an appointment for her to see a psychiatrists. We saw the psychiatrist today and he says that he thinks she my actually have Lewy Body Dementia. How are we to react to this? Does this make a big difference? Is the treatment going to be different. She has been on ARICEPT and Namenda for years. What does this new possible diagnoses mean?

  - Melanie

• November 29, 2009 7:28 a.m.

  My wife has just been diagnosed with Frontotemporal dementia at the Mayo Clinic. Now that we know what the problem is we can try to cope. We have been dealing with this for about a year and it has been real frustrating. I also agree with what Kristine says about spending 24 hours with her. Our friends always say she seems perfectly normal, but spend an entire day or week with someone and then you know.

  - Tom

• November 19, 2009 11:50 p.m.

  Everyone needs to download a copy of Coach Broyles Playbook for Alzheimer's Caregivers, it will help you cope and it's free! http://www.alzheimersplaybook.com/

  - Connie

• November 4, 2009 3:39 p.m.

  I am frustrated by the lack of importance physicians, particularly neurologists give to family anecdotal evidence. My mother has seen a team at Mayo for the past two years to address a possibly unrelated (who knows?) neuro issue. We keep bringing up her memory and judgement issues, and they keep telling us it's "normal aging", since the MRI and spinal tap appear normal for her age. Maybe they'd like to spend 24 hours with her and explain over and over that it is not New Years Day, New Years is in the winter and it's 80 degrees outside. Or explain to her how to get dressed, underwear first instead of on the outside of her pants. We need them to stop looking at the test results and LISTEN TO US! In my mom's case, none of these doctors had ever met her until after the dementia started, so they don't know who she was. Everytime we try to explain what she's lost, they nod their heads and say that's normal. Help!!!

  - Kristine

• November 1, 2009 5:30 p.m.

  Hello Angela and readers: How do you cope? You feel guilty because you wish you could do more and understand more. It's very difficult to have a mother, or any loved one, in a secure, safe facility, yet they are being taking care of by overworked and underpaid Hisanic men and women. generally, I've found these folks to be kind, generous, thankful, and with the patience of Job. The family members can come and go as they please, yet the workers must deal with the feeding, bathing, cleaning, and the anguish of the death of these people they have come to know. I am new to the situation since this year my Mom went into a facility. I am not the same person I was last year. I rpray for these workers as often as I pray for my Mom, and I hope that the good Lord holds a special place in heaven for them. The whole system is a mess, dealing with the bureaucracy, the insurance companies, and then you see the position your loved one is in. How do I deal with it, count your blessings, it can always get worse and when dealing with Alzheimer's or dementia, it WILL get worse.

  - jake

• October 30, 2009 8:10 a.m.

  I'm 67 years old. I was diagnosed with early stage AZ in August. "Very early" was the phrase my physician used. I have been on Aricept since then, and recently she recommended Namenda. I am also taking an anti-depression med and vitamins. This seems to have made an immediate difference. My mood is greatly improved and I am planning various projects to keep myself busy, including journalism, pottery, and boat building. We have sold our current home and are planning to move to a condo. It is difficult to know how to plan ahead. I am functioning at a near normal level, probably above normal for many. But I don't know how long this will last. My physician said it could be 5, 10 or 30 years. I'm going to the U of M next week to seek clinical trials, etc.

  - John

• October 29, 2009 8:50 p.m.

  Two of my brothers have passed away. The last one, in August of '08. Since then my Mom, age 76 has shown signs of Alzheimers. It hurts so much to watch this happen to her. She refuses to accept that she is changing. Sometimes she gets SOO MAD about things that should not bother her at all (like getting her hair cut..she wants to let it grow long, or when we discussed putting satellite in. She got really mad about it). I mentioned the changes to her doctor, but he doesn't offer any help. I see the changes almost every day. I don't know what to do. She is more forgetful, has trouble with reasoning, doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything and doesn't want to keep herself clean at times. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can help her? I work full time, but I live close to her and see her everyday.

  - Dianne

• October 26, 2009 8:58 p.m.

  mom getting more involved. still lives at home. brother and his wife live next door in duplex. mom's house wired visully and auditorily so brother can monitor her. i am 2 hours away and get up on weekends. mom having major meltdowns. screaming in a hotel at a family wedding. mom also had microscopic colitis so any drug that causes diahreea (sp?) is out. is there a medication that can be taken prn when these meltdowns occur? she is sensitive to these drusg as we learned when she fell and needed a month in rehab at a nursing homm. found her tied to a wheel chair and so drugged she couldn't talk. HELP?

  - beth

• October 24, 2009 9:53 p.m.

  My husband is on Razadyne but, I haven't been told that he has Alzheimer's/dementia/vascular disease..nothing. Yet, I'm left to cope w/ VERY Alzheimer-like behaviors which are increasing & he's becoming aggressive, losing his temper abt. the oddest things, unpredictably. I don't know if he's w/holding info. or the doctor is. How do I get the truth? I need to start making plans. (I already hid his gun, which he demands from me abt. every other month!)

  - Angela

• October 12, 2009 1:07 p.m.

  We, my husband and I moved in with my grandparents. We planned to stay for one year to save money and help our grandmother. It has been fourteen years now. We never left. My grandfather (diagnosed w/ altzheimers) died six months after we moved in. We helped to arrange caregivers until his sleeplessness and an infection sent him to a nursing facility, where he died of complications unrelated to altzheimers. My grandmother has developed dementia in the last five years. She has not been easy. Often confused, does the same thing with clothing as one of the blog writers, often denying they belong to her. It used to upset me, but now, we just pretend that someone lovely has left her some surprises in the closet. I have learned in these fourteen years, that if you are tired or upset yourself, to walk away, take a walk, watch tv, call a friend, cook something, take a break. My husband says, "step away from the grandmother"...very important. You are human. You need time for yourself, your spouse, your children and friends...Even if I am disturbed, I have learned that if I smile and approach a hard situation with a smile, it often will change her attitude. Sometimes I will sing an old tune that she knows (off key I admit), I will ask her about an old friend long ago...these things help.

  - Sharon

• October 6, 2009 5:23 p.m.

  What shall I do with my mother of 72, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer 1 or 2 years ago? She still denies she has Alzheimer and she thinks we don´t know it. However there are many issues of the daily life to deal with, but as long as she doesn´t talk openly about it and doesn´t admit to us that she is ill, it´s very difficult to act in a nice way for her. It´s becoming so heavy for my Father, myself and my daughters...

  - No name given

• October 6, 2009 3:50 p.m.

  My name is Larry and I am a Certified MnemeTherapist (pronounced "nehma"). I would like to introduce the state of Minnesota to a cutting edge whole-brained therapy called MnemeTherapy. MnemeTherapy uses everyday pleasures such as movement, singing, painting, story telling and praise to initiate neuroplasticity (the brain's ability to repair itself) in people suffering from Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia, Autism, Huntington's, Lewy Body disease, Parkinson's, Developmentally Disabled Individuals of all ages and stroke recovery patients. It is NOT art therapy which is a psychological process and requires special licensing. We have experienced amazing results with many clients after just one session of the therapy. Some of the individuals we have worked with have begun to speak again after not speaking for years. One stroke victim suffering from inverted vision had his vision right itself halfway through his first session. I am located in Coon Rapids, MN (just north of Minneapolis) and just opened a chapter called The Greater Twin Cities Chapter of Art Without Boundaries. Please visit my website at: www.ArtWithoutBoundaries.net/LH.html to learn more.

  - Larry

• September 23, 2009 9:10 p.m.

  Why is it that in the list of diseases on the mayo clinic site there is only one for Alzhiemers' and so many other categories for other (more treatable by "big pharma") maladies??? Alzhiemers' is HUGE and it is untreatable and thus not of particular interest to medical practitioners. It needs to be researched and funded NOW before it lands the next generation in "homes" for half of their adult lives, warehoused as cattle, waiting to die.

  - susan

• September 19, 2009 10:20 p.m.

  My ex-husband lives with a brain tumor from agent orange in Viet Nam. He has had two surgeries and is blind in one eye. He is in the VA hospital now after a stroke which did not involve his motor skills. He has seizures several of which happened while driving his truck or motorcycle. The tumor is the size of a baseball pushing on the frontal lobe. Surgery is not an option right now as they fear he may go blind in the other eye as it is too close to the optic nerve. He is on meds now to help even out the personality changes he experiences and is a flight risk as he wants to get back out on the road! The VA doctors have deemed him incompetant and say he has dementia but contend that it is not caused from the tumor. His sister, daughter, and I agree that a tumor of this type and in this area must be a signifigant reason for the dementia. He will be moved to a lock-down facility but will be responsible for his own payment as he is too high functioning and the VA will only take care of it if he is in the last stage dementia and can't do anything for himself.

  - Pat

• September 8, 2009 8:56 a.m.

  My grandmother is 95 and was diagnosed with demetia a couple of years ago. She has a lot of trouble remembering from one minute to the next but still recognizes me when I go to visit or when I call on the phone. My aunt moved into her house to take care of her and hired someone to watch over Grandma during the day time hours. It's so hard to watch what dementia does to our loved ones. I know that my aunt doesn't have any patience with her and I sometimes feel like my grandma would be better off at my house with me and my family. I also know that this would put a huge burden on myself, my husband and my kids. I would like to know if any of you have been in this situation and what you did. I just don't want to feel like I am abandoning her. I love her so much. I lost my other grandma earlier this year because of heart failure. It's a lot to take in.

  - Erika

• September 1, 2009 6:47 p.m.

  This is to Lee with the 50 yr old husband. You need to check out Frontotemporal dementia. It's a rare disorder with some of the symtoms you are describing. I was at a neurosychologist to day with a friend that has it. and she describes the wasting of money and spending you are describing along with the symtoms you'll find when you research this on the mayo clinic web site. good luck Becky hkHdga

  - Becky

• August 31, 2009 1:25 p.m.

  My question is what to do if they won"t eat dress or talk, and you cannot move them. They just want to stay in bed?

  - Renee