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    Angela Lunde

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  • Feb. 16, 2008

    Sharing the pain of early-onset Alzheimer's

    By Angela Lunde

29 comments posted

The responses from my last posting makes it clear that young onset AD is painful beyond belief and there are as many experiences in living with the disease as there are persons diagnosed.

My purpose was not to minimize the depth of the despair you are going through. I have heard from some patients with young onset AD that despite the devastating shock, numbness, and overwhelming sadness of the diagnosis, there was some relief in knowing they were not 'lazy' or 'crazy' and that their symptoms are due to a real neurological problem.

I heard a gentleman diagnosed with young onset AD speak at a conference last year. His words were powerful. He said, "Please do not mourn the fact I am not who I was, or you want me to be, or we both miss this moment when we focus on yesterday or last year or twenty years ago. We miss living together today, we miss the chance to love, and to laugh, and to be all we can be today, when we are mourning who I was."

I invite you to see some men and women with young onset AD speak openly about their experiences on a Web-cast from our "Meeting of the Minds" conference that took place in 2007. You can find the link below.

More than anything, I am humbled by your words and I am grateful for your candid sharing.

29 comments posted

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  • February 17, 2008 4:07 p.m.

    My husband passed away 16 months ago, at the age of 62, from complications of early onset AD. I wish I'd thought about what the gentleman said at the conference in the beginning of going through this difficult time because I could've had more "semi-quality" time with my husband if I'd lived more in the moment. But it's very hard when you ARE mourning who the person WAS, what could have been, and worrying about the future. I thought we had more time because my husband was very healthy in every other way, very physically fit, etc. and because of that I thought we had more time. Once he was put on drugs to calm him down that was the end of him. Regarding Edsel's post, we too had to file bankruptcy, you're not alone in that. My husband was still trying to hold a job when he was diagnosed so we weren't prepared for this financially either.

    - Peggy

  • February 16, 2008 9:02 p.m.

    My wife is 61 years of age. She came down with AD at 57. I love her very much but its hard to see her in this condition. She was a school teacher for 26 years before AD and now she is having this problem. Sometimes I simply do not know what to do. It is very hard for the caregiver but we know it is our responsibility to take care of them and we will. Early onset dementia is not something you can prepare for. We had to take bankruptcy on the 14th of this month, Valentines Day. This is really hard to cope with along with the AD my wife has. I know we will manage becouse the Lord is with us. Edsel

    - Edsel McKee

  • February 16, 2008 6:43 p.m.

    How wonderful to know that there is such a thinkg as early onset dementia. Hard to be happy with that? Hey, when you have been told that you are lazy and emotional, to "suck it up" it is a bean of sunshine..Problem now, how do we treat it? I'm 53 is that too young?

    - Janice

  • February 16, 2008 3:16 p.m.

    The problem with your speaker’s statement is summed up by an entry in my wife’s journal: “I realize I can no longer be a real person.” The reality is that your speaker may be unable to love, laugh, or eat? He won’t recognize himself in the mirror, much less his wife and family? He may come to believe his spouse is having an affair with one or more of his kids? He may try to attack his spouse, or call the police and report her as a burglar? He may believe he is a small child and has never been married, or had kids. It is not his family that takes away these things, it is the disease that will take away these things. Our support system is not organized to give the spouse the opportunity spend that quality time while he is still cognizant. He/she will have no time to spare given responsibilities for raising the kids, earning a living, and taking care of him. And how would your speaker respond to the advice from the Alzheimer’s Association to his/her spouse to seek ear

    - Roger

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