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• November 11, 2009 2:23 p.m.

  I don't know where to begin. After reading some of these posts I feel like I have no reason to be depressed which, ironically, makes me feel worse. I have my health, a wonderful husband who loves me, a roof over my head and food to eat, so I should be ok, right? Unfortunately, right now, I'm not. My husband and I moved a year and a half ago from FL to NC for his job, leaving behind our friends, families, church, and my job. We thought that it would be a new start and that I'd be able to find a job fairly quickly (I'm a teacher). Right after we got up here the job market tanked~even teaching jobs, which should be pretty recession proof, disappeared. I interviewed for several positions, none of which worked out, so I settled on substituting. The area we live in is very small and there are no jobs available in other areas. I made a few friends, but they were all wives or girlfriends of my husbands coworkers. Two are getting divorced and have moved away and the third's fiancee was laid off, so they moved as well. I feel like my support system is crumbling. I'm very close with my parents, but they're 6.5 hours away, as are all of my friends. My husband doesn't understand what I'm feeling because he's never dealt with anything like this. The fact that he never knows what he's going to come home to stresses him out. Depression runs in my family and I was on Wellbutrin, but I currently am uninsured (hubby's plan is ridiculous). I just don't know what to do.

  - DM

• November 9, 2009 6:37 a.m.

  I think I may have seasonal affect disorder. It has become apparent to me that every year at almost the exact same time, I feel so depressed I have severe crying spells and withdrawl. It usually starts at Halloween or right after. Both of my parents are deceased and I married later (40) in life and have no children. I want so much for large family gatherings with happy times and of course this is an unobtainable desire. It gets worse the closer the holidays get. I have a brief periods of happiness, but mostly I sleep, or eat and want to be left alone. I find myself visiting the cemetary and I grieve for my family members there. I lost my best g/f to cancer 2 1/2 years ago and that deeply depresses me as well. I recently had a hysterectomy and am on some hormone meds as well as an anti-depressant but nothing helps. I have finally realized that this hits me every time of the year about the same time. I usually cry in deep depressive pain every Thanksgiving morning. Not having children and my parents being gone, I am always dreading Christmas as well. I have all these hopes of big happy family gatherings and of course that can't happy. I spend Christmas with my inlaws who live way way way away, in another country, and they love me, but, it's just not enough to take me out of the deep funk I am in. I put on a face for Christmas to not be so overtly obvious that I am miserable. My husband is basically a happy go lucky person and doesn't understand what's happening.

  - CK

• November 8, 2009 10:12 p.m.

  Well, I don't know where to begin or end. I'm scared I have depression like the rest of my family.. I don't want to go get checked out. I don't know why. It's like I don't want an escape reason for being rude to my friends and family. My dad died when I was 6 and my world changed. Money was the topic of our household. My mom had an 8,6, and 3 y/o to raise. I had to grow up quick. After that, we moved from my "best friends" in El Paso and moved to Houston. That was really hard. My dad is buried in El Paso, so I can't even visit. When I was 17, I got prego, with a horrible guy. I gave my daughter up for adoption and, well, that was the hardest thing in the whole world to do. It's an open adoption but still. I'm NOT mommy. That hurts. I miss her every day. She is now a year and a half. Every one says with time it will get better... well who ever was the moron that made that up has never felt pain. With every day that passes, I think about all I missed. I think, I think stuff I shouldn't, like just that I don't want to deal with this pain anymore. I don't think I can do it. :(

  - K.D.

• November 7, 2009 2:58 p.m.

  I am concerned about a friend of mine. He is an alcoholic and was recently given anti-drepressants by his doctor for severe depression. I keep telling him that his alcohol problem could be the root cause of his depression and that he should not drink with the anti-depressants but it just makes him mad. He drinks on average 3-5 bottles of wine a day! His recent health problem is that he is loosing his vision very quickly. He just got new glasses and still he cannot see well. He can no longer drive and he is really upset that he can't read the newspaper anymore. He refuses to tell the doctor that he drinks with his medication so I wanted to know if this problem is related to the combination of the medication with wine. What other complications could arise from this deadly combination if he does not consult his doctor about his problem?

  - Lana

• November 1, 2009 11:28 a.m.

  Peggy hang in there, belive that this too will pass. See a therapist and send out positive energy to your son. It has been a long haul with my son, he cannot work and his Split personality father would not agree to any treatment fr him, but I am living and keeping hope alive, I must confess that it is not easy, but alone as I am I cry out to God in my lonliness and weakess moments, so what ever you conceive that higher power to be cry out to him/her, it can only help. My higher power is Jehovah God.

  - max

• November 1, 2009 11:19 a.m.

  I became depressed the year my father died. I managed to throw it off without any medical help, but I was young. I have had major illnesses and multiple surgeries. I also marry a man who I call Dr. Jekelly and Mr. Hyde. I am not close to my siblings nor my ex's family. It has been difficult for me, especially sine my divorce and living and paying rent at 61 years old. I have been treated for depression several times. My coping skills are stretched , but I have hope, hope that tommorow will be a better day. My second son is a concern but at the moment prayer is the stabilizing factor and I know he is healed. I have suffered pains as a result of stress, pangs of anxiety and fear, insomnia, wiegt gain and weight loss, lack of appetite, fear of going out socially, but in all that and through all my ordeal i must keep hope alive. Hope that I will never have to get back into a relationship with my ex, hope that I will get my portion of the property I work so hard for, hope that my other two children will understand the reason why I had to walk away from their manipulative and 'charming' father, that they will understand that abuse is painful. I am seeing a psychologist to help through my pain, my loss and my grief. I need your encoragement and I hope this serves as an encoragement to others. Seek help, believe in that higher power and remember you are not alone in this, there are so many of us. I just hope I can find this site again

  - Max

• October 31, 2009 1:32 p.m.

  Peggy you may want to talk to a family doctor or therapist . good luck

  - kim

• October 31, 2009 11:31 a.m.

  I am new to this site and worry that I may have clinical depression. I just discovered that my adult son (27 years old) is addicted to Heroin. He had a great childhood and I am a college educated professional. With that said, I can't help but feel I have somehow caused him to do this. I confronted him because he kept asking to borrow more and more money. He also is a white collar worker with a great job and his own home which he would have lost had I not given him the money to catch up 3 house payments. Lately, I have been fantasizing about running my car into a telphone pole, shooting myself in the head or eating as many pills that I can get my hands on. I don't really want to die, I just want this all to be over. My husband who is not my son's father (divorced him years ago) has tried to be supportive but he has his own issues and it's not his biological son so I know he doesn't feel the pain and shame that I do. Is there anyone out there who can relate to this or am I alone. I would appreciate any advice or input you may have.

  - Peggy

• October 26, 2009 11:34 a.m.

  So tired always so tired - I have been this way so long I no longer know what normal is. Tired of depression and all the baggage it brings. I only wish there was an answer

  - b

• October 23, 2009 12:56 p.m.

  newmommy I had the same symptoms after pregnancy. I am 49 years old and just found out this year that I have thyroid disease. I always felt great when pregnant. Have your thyroid checked. My thyroid levels were normal but the doctor noticed a lump on the right side of my neck. I had a large nodule. Good Luck!

  - anita

• October 23, 2009 8:41 a.m.

  Do not give up! There are many different meds or combos of meds to use. They take some time to work. You WILL NOT always feel this way. I promise! I'm a survivor of major depression. It's beyond horrible. Check your thyroid, your hormones, family history, even look into Omega 3 fatty acids! Be pro-active. It WILL go away. I've had relapses, became med resistant, but NEVER gave up. New drugs are coming in all the time. Most importantly, get on your knees, prayer is powerful. If you are capable of such deep pain, you are also capable of such deep caring. Depression really humbles you. DON'T GIVE UP!

  - Deb

• October 22, 2009 1:46 a.m.

  Well we all realize how Depression has sucked the life from us, I just hope someday that I can beat it before it beats me. I just feel so empty and not sure how to take the next step again. My wife is sick of me being like this and she is ready to file for divorce. I find it hard to to nearly every basic task, makes excuses and then of course never finish anything that I start.... I want to have a life.... but how?

  - John

• October 20, 2009 8:08 a.m.

  I have never understood how someone could feel bad enough to think they had nothing to live for .Until a couple years ago when PTSD became part of my life .I totally understand now what it is like to live with depression and have your mind go into that dark pit and feel you have little to no control over your life .You just want the thoughts in your mind to stop and be at peace.

  - Kim

• October 18, 2009 10:35 p.m.

  I'm 59 and have been plagued with depression all my life but didn't have a name for it until 25 years ago. I think back on my childhood and see the reactions I had were due to depression. I see a wonderful psychiatrist and have been on just about everything that was ever made. My meds(if the side effects are tolerable)seem to work for a while and it's like I get immune and Dr.J. has to come up with another combination. I even have had ECT in past years with no help or lasting help coming from that.I can feel it coming on the least bit just as I can feel it improve just a little bit(if I'm lucky).It's horrible to live with and indescribable to anyone who has not dealt with it in any way. I don't have anyone to talk to that deals with this and wish I did other than my doctor. No one knows unless they've been there or your family that's lived through this with you. People out there, you are not alone. There seems to be more than we realize who suffer along with us. Let's hang in there. It's hard to I know when we feel like crap and just want to sleep and not feel the pain it creates in our minds.

  - Geraldine

• October 18, 2009 9:31 p.m.

  Depression can be an awfull thing to live with .Feeling like you have to hide it from the world doesnt help.

  - Kim

• October 17, 2009 10:02 a.m.

  I have had depression for most of 14 years, 10 years ago, when my husband was killed in an auto accident, I really slipped. Have been fine up until 1 years ago and all of a sudden, pow, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I cry morning noon and night. I don't care to do anything, and when I have to, it is only half of an effort. I am now on my third med and it does nothing, to top it off, they think I have Mineares Desease, which is making everything almost impossible. I have just about alienated my family, my daughter understands, but she has her own problems. Oh I have sleep apnea too! Talking to a therapist doesn't seem to help, why should they care anyways? I am 60 and really have nothing to live for anymore. I am tired and fed up.

  - Karen

• October 11, 2009 10:26 p.m.

  I suffer from PTSD,depression.sleep disorder.panic disorder.I see a therapist once a week and am on several meds to help me sleep and deal with the depression .Many days it is still hard to get out of bed .I often feel that no one truly understands .

  - Kim

• October 7, 2009 10:05 a.m.

  I was first Dx with depression 30 years ago, during the first 20 years did not need treatment would go for years then maybe 6 months or so on meds then fine. !997 was a bad year and up to 2008, was on meds and went to Therapy, about two weeks ago in a stressful place I called some one names I do not usually use.and do not remember doing it Went to Dr. Had Head CT Stress and a lot of blood work.it all came back fine. at the time I was on 50mg of Pristiq 20 of lexapro my therapist thought it could me to much Serration build up lower lexa pro to 10 mg. When I went to Dr. told him said it could be Sudo Depression what is that I do not know how I can handle this up and down on meds they work fine for about 9 months then I slide back down

  - Darlene

• October 5, 2009 10:33 a.m.

  I have been battleing majoe depression for many years and have used every drug cocktail known. I manage to get by, but the side effects suck. you have other treatments on your website, but they dont seem to be offered outside of minnesota, why is that?

  - Jane

• September 30, 2009 1:45 a.m.

  After enduring a then-husband's seven suicide attempts, followed by my mother's death (in my arms, CHF fluid spewing from her) eight months after filing for divorce, I was prescribed antidepressants. This is the first time I've been without the medication and I feel like I have depression. My treating physician, a resident physician, won't return my calls, wants me to wait another month to see him. I can't continue like this another month.

  - Michelle

• September 28, 2009 4:39 p.m.

  Just in time for my 63'rd birthday, I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. I have been treating for depression all of my adult life and was depressed as a child also, but my parents,(mother especially)didn't want to hear the word depressed. I also suffer from acute anxiety and panic disorder. Along with my mental disabilities, I have high blood pressure, sleep apnea, fibromyalgia, acid reflux, high cholesterol, osteoarthritis and obesity. I've just found out that I will at some point require shoulder replacement surgery. The best thing I could do for myself is lose weight and excercise, but I'm in so much physical pain, and emotional pain, I can't seem to do anything. I don't know where to start or where to turn.

  - Janet

• September 26, 2009 11:59 p.m.

  I am a new mom and have suffered from depression and anxiety for most of my adult life. My pregnancy was awesome, I felt so alive and happy, nothing could get me down. Now My daughter is 2 1/2 months and I have the most horrible thoughts about other children, the terrible things that people do to them, fear and anxiety about keeping my daughter safe from predators and all bad things. I feel like I got to see clearly for those 9 short months, and I want it back! I'm definitely not ready for another baby, but that feeling was such bliss. I wish we had more answers, solutions. We all need to keep praying and believing that there are solutions, and tomorrow is a new day.

  - new mommy

• September 26, 2009 9:34 p.m.

  I have suffered depression for many years, and have been on so many medication, just so tired of medicines if only there were not so many side effects. maybe it wouldn't be so tough to continue taking meds.

  - esperanza

• September 16, 2009 12:43 p.m.

  I have suffered from depression for 10 years and have been on and off antidepressants for 10 years. I Know what it is like to go years without feeling joy. I know that medication has helped me find joy, simple pleasures, and drive. Please reach out for help. Even though you may feel you do not have the energy to do so.

  - lindsey

• September 15, 2009 1:01 p.m.

  September 15 sick and tired. I know exactly how you feel, I have been going through the same thing for several weeks. I don't even want to get out of bed much less be bothered by anyone. I have had depression and anxiety off and on for about 11 years now. I found a program that you order and do at home that was so helpful. If you would like that information or just someone to talk to or pray with just let me know. My heart and prayers go out to everyone on here. Tina

  - No name given