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• Housecall
• Alzheimer's caregiving
• Living with cancer

• February 16, 2009 12:51 p.m.

  Jessica, I hope that you will reconsider. I was struck by the level of emotional pain you describe. From what you describe, I think it would be helpful for you to work with a Psychologist/therapist. You need someone who specializes in phobias (fears). The driving fear can be mastered. It will take time and the help of a professional. I wish you the best - you deserve it! MC.Com

  - Mayo Clinic.Com Staff

• February 2, 2009 8:54 a.m.

  im 2O yrs. old and I stopped cold turkey taking Lexapro about 5 days ago. Im determined and I have had enough. Im never putting a psychotropic drug in my body ever again. I was diagnosed by the psychiatrist with depression and anxiety which was mainly because i have a driving fear which goes hand in hand with anxiety. The way I see it is no matter what is no one can cure my driving fear its not going to change, its always going to be their. While taking lexapro their would be days i would go out with taking a shower for 4 days. All i would do is sleep and i would have no energy to get out of bed....that is why is could not even make it to any of my college classes and I failed last semester. Thank you lexapro...NOT! i used to be a lot happier when i was off it and smile and laugh more. So i decided i was going to go off it because i want the old me back not some zombie woman.

  - Jessica

• January 28, 2009 3:20 p.m.

  my depression started as postnatal 36 yrs ago and has never gone away. ive tried a few antidepressants years ago but they just made me feel numb. over the years my friends have dwindled and when im really low i isolate myself causing breakdown of relationships. i have a partner n a child who is 1, depression nearly broke my relationship up. i have low self esteem and no confidence, i dont confide in the few friends i have left. im struggling to socialise or go to playgroups with my child on my own, and have no confidence socially so find it hard making friends. i told my doctor i feel constantly tired n down but she didnt seem to take the hint. im worried it will affect my child, i dont want them to miss out or notice the depression, i get through the daily acitivities at home but often am sad inside and have to hide it. i feel very despondant and isolated. ive had little therapy and wat i had got cancelled or not available, i paid for hypnotherapy which helps in the short term but not the long term or my low self esteem.i wonder if ill ever have a normal life again free of feeling so worhtless. i missed several of my university courses and worry if il ever get the confidence to go back, or achieve a normal life.i dont want to end up recluse unable to go out on my own which has happend when ive been really low for a period.

  - worried mama

• January 22, 2009 12:20 a.m.

  I'm 47. My depression began when I went through puberty at 11. It's definitely chemically induced. My mom, grandma, aunt & 2 cousins all have it - depression & a reversed sleep cycle. The worst years were from 12 to 20. I thought about dying every day. The reason depressed people commit suicide is because you realize nothing you achieve will stop the pain. It feels like emotional pain so you think it's caused by circumstances. You think you'll feel better if you only change this or that. You achieve it, but the pain doesn't stop. You realize nothing will ever stop the pain. That's when you think about death because that means relief. At 19 I read a flyer about depression being a physical, not mental, problem. That diet can be a contributing factor. I was not getting enough sleep & not eating right, eating way too much sugar. I started eating better & it made a big difference. I felt like a dark cloud was lifting off my shoulders. Also, it helped that I was through the worst of the hormone activity by then. A few years ago I tried all the drugs but nothing helped. I just live with it & know that it's cyclical & chemical, the worst feelings will ease up if I just hold on. If I eat a lot of sugar, in 2 days I'm ready to end it all. It takes another 2 days for it to clear out & I feel better. So I never make any life decisions during the worst days. There are vitamins that help, exercise & nutrition. Anything that affects your chemical bala

  - Shay

• January 9, 2009 12:39 p.m.

  I'm 43 and have been suffering from serve depression for as long as I can remember. I've been on anit-depression meds (paxil, welbutrin)that seem to work for a short time then thoughts of hoplessness and suicide come back. Everyday I have to fight to make it through the day. I'm afraid that one of these days I won't be strong enough to fight my own battle. No one knows and I am to afraid and ashamed to tell anyone. I've thought of going to see a therapist but can't bring myself to talk to someone who is getting paid to care about me. Please offer advice.

  - Hidden Tears

• December 2, 2008 11:15 p.m.

  Does anyone else feel like their meds stop working after a few months? I always feel better initially then after a few months I start falling back into the depression again. Does anyone else have this problem and what do you do about? When I tell my psychiatrist about it they just switch me to a different med and I am running out of options to try.

  - Suffering in Silence

• December 2, 2008 9:06 p.m.

  I do not see very much,in fact very little if at all,anything about pain and depression only depression and pain.I suffer whith severe chronic pain and this has caused very much depression in me due to the huge impact it has taken on my life.No one really talks about this.It,s always'depression causes pain" but suffering the way I do and I know there are others.well I am trying to say that it is a vicious cycle.Due to the severe pain,and the medications,quality of life has declined,lonelyness,there are many things that I have much trouble doing.YES I have become very depressed.Some of the simpelest things I can not do.My friends?Well???Where are they now???since I cant do do do for them.Dealing with illness ,pain pain and more pain caused sever depression,then the depression causes more pain.I cant find much at all on this topic only that depression causes pain.what about the other way arround?Why is this cycle not explored?I've search every place for this and always come up with the same thing,It's always about depression first.It's a vicious cycle and I really wish that this subject was talked about more and studied more.I feel like there is some kind of stigmatizm here.I would like to here from others who suffer with severe chronic pain and how it effects there quality of life and what they do about it,how they deal,coping skills.Thank You for taking the time and reading this!!!!

  - John Glenn

• November 18, 2008 8:49 a.m.

  Has anyone tried Vitamin D for their depression? I am taking 60mg of celexa, plus, propranolol for anxiety. If anyone has tried Vit. D did it work and how much did you take?

  - Jackie

• September 21, 2008 10:12 a.m.

  Hi All, I was re-reading the intro to this site and thought I'd share a few thoughts about self-esteem. I've been in therapy for 18 years off and on with different therapists. Have come to the spot where I believe that low self-esteem is at the bottom of all the negative feelings. Thus it is important for me to bolster mine on a daily basis. Sure didn't get it from my parents or siblings and my family today is toxic as ever. This is the most important thing for me to do in self-care (besides taking my meds). No one knows me like I do and when I feel "up" I can bolster myself quite easily. But when I'm down the ghosts and gremlins enter and tell me I'm not good enough or no good at all. I keep a number of good self-help books handy and read and re-read when needed (sometimes I don't have the energy to lift them). A very good one is "How to Take Charge of Your Life". Little paperback (our of print?)that's easy to read and so uplifting. Keep writing. Sandy

  - sandy

• September 20, 2008 11:50 a.m.

  Hi everyone, I see no one has posted for a while and I, too, have been absent. Going through physical problems which exacerbate the depression. New psychiatrist and it took a while to get on track with him. Finally back on correct meds and stable. The meds are working so good that I can analyze situations and know that before I would have been thrown off course and into depression. Now I see them as just interesting. Have learned many things about myself and how I cope. One is to get out of the house. Even just a trip through my yard. Must be my love of the earth that keeps me grounded. Winter is fast approaching with very cold nights. Soon will have to start using my light - I use it daily throughout winter as we go through days and weeks of not seeing the sun. Helps tremendously. Also, more active in the community and connections with others. Keep writing - no one knows depression like one who has been there. Sandy

  - Sandy

• September 6, 2008 9:32 p.m.

  Hi there! somehow depression is indeed a kind of hard thing to deal with but you can always combat it, if you want to... Have faith... Make it a habit to read a self help book. You know I always remind myself of by what he said, Dr. Victor Frankl, an Austrian Psychiatrist who was captured by the Nazis during World War II & held prisoner at the Auschwitz concentration camp. He made a "decision", he saw that if we were made to suffer these terrible events in our lives for no meaning, he would go insane. He "decided" instead, to live by the principle that he only know & experience this life through the meaning or the relevance of perceptions that we assign to it. You can in any situation, can choose your reaction. The events in your daily life have only the meaning that you assign to them. You have the power to choose your perceptions. God bless...

  - Rosette from Philippines

• August 17, 2008 6:42 p.m.

  I agree with others that self acceptance is so important. I could not keep my house clean. Now I have one hour of home care and it makes a big difference in my wellbeing. My employer knows about my illness. I am not ashamed to reveal to others that I have Bi polar. having said that i mhave had to be carefull as to who and how I self disclose. Personal relationships are more diffcult but even then eventually it makes sense to self disclose. Surprisingly, sometimes it is other mental health professionals who can be the most judgemental. Having a good support team is so important too. Support groups can be very helpfull. Dealing with other issues ( sleep apnea, chronic pain ) that contribute to depression is also really important. I have always believed in myself despite the challenges and that has helped me to create a great career. Relationships are more difficult as loved ones have to cope with the behaviours of a depressed individual. I have an affirmation that has helped me for many years. It is Challenge, Commitment, Control. A psychologist I worked with gave me that. When I feel low it helps to motivate me to pay less attention to my negative thinking. Having goals and working through procrastination around the goals has helped a lot too. All the best to you and yours. Keep trying even if you fauil a few times you will eventually succeed. I recommend the book "The Enlightened Gardener' re understanding how our thoughts create our reality.---Rico from Canada

  - rico from canada

• August 15, 2008 11:18 a.m.

  I remarked to my wife the other day that our bodies do not belong to us. They are leased from God and one day we give them back to Him. Take that for what it may be worth. God does not make junk and one day we will get a glorious spiritual body. Please do not insult God by rejecting your (His) body by harming it. If you suffer depression endure this illness, if required, to His glory and let others rejoice in your endurance and suffering. With the Olympics on right now I am reminded of Eric Liddell, the 1924 Olympics gold medal champion in the 400M run. His "Olympic experience" was reenacted in the 1981 movie Chariots of Fire. This film won the Academy Award for best picture. In the movie Eric Liddell honoured the Lord by refusing to run in his best event, the 100M, on a Sunday, the (his) Sabbath. He retired from athletics immediately after these (1924) Olympics. He was still a very young man. Him and his new wife went very soon thereafter to a missionary career in China. He died on the mission field about 20 years later. I said all that to say this; Eric Liddell had a very neat saying, repeated often in the movie, “God made me for a reason, ....... but he made me fast”. Use this idea and turn it around. Keep in mind that Eric Liddell achieved hero status as both a sports hero and a hero of faith on the mission field in China. You can be a hero too, right where you are. Think of yourself, if you suffer from depression, as SLOW. Say, “God made me for a reason but

  - Lakercom

• July 30, 2008 10:36 p.m.

  i google'd depression blog and found this site. not going to call anyoe. i waited almost 4 weeks to see someone after begging my doc for a referral ... that person told me when i arrived she only works w/ adolescents ... wtf?!?! she referred me to a different person ... my appt. is sept.12 ... why do i have to wait so long? ... i need help and want to get better ... my husband says i can't go to the hospital because he's too busy ... we have a 6 y.o. and a 4 y.o. .... just writing here because i want help and figured i have to try harder since no one is available around here ... we live in a very rural area of the US ...

  - me

• July 29, 2008 2:59 a.m.

  still struggling to live on a daily basis. vns is not working, medication is not working. anyone know where there are trials for deep brain stimulation? any on the west coast of us or canada?

  - nobody

• July 12, 2008 12:55 a.m.

  Hi all, just wanted to share that I bought a new (new to me) home last fall with nothing but a pile of dirt around it. I have spent this summer gardening (planting shrubs, grass seed, flowers; putting in pavers; hauling rock; etc). I cannot believe how much I love this. Everytime I go outside to do this work, my mood just lifts within about 10 minutes or so. I have found a great summer hobby. Anybody have any suggestions for the winter months?

  - jp

• July 11, 2008 4:05 p.m.

  I have been so down struggling with depression for so long now. Often I feel that is all I know no hope for me just despare can't look into the future.

  - ann mn

• July 9, 2008 9:01 a.m.

  Dear Bloggers, As we have written before, all of the comments are read by our staff. We do remove comments that we judge to be harmful, distasteful, self-promoting, etc. Please respect our judgment. Also please remember to respect others when you write. We again want this to stimulate helpful exchanges between people. We do not expect all comments to be postiive, but we would ask that they be appropriately constructive. Thank you very much!

  - MC.Com Staff

• July 1, 2008 1:26 p.m.

  Good afternoon. Thank you for all of your stories! We read all of the comments you send to us. Just a friendly reminder that our hope is to provide you with accurate, helpful information for managing depression. We want to stimulate constructive dialogue between visiting bloggers. We apologize, but are not able to reply to all of the entires received. We sincerely appreciate your interest in Mayo Clinic.com.

  - MC.com Staff

• June 23, 2008 6:05 a.m.

  I check this blog fairly often as well, and have also been disappointed to see the number of participants drop so dramatically. It can be encouraging to share struggles and stories so we know we're not alone, but it can be kind of hard to read too. Sometimes there just isn't anything else left to say. When we know what it is we're dealing with, we have to do just that. I like having a place to talk about it without being in a circle and watched through a two way mirror though. :-)

  - Angeltears

• June 18, 2008 2:34 a.m.

  Welcome aboard, Katie, the number of posts on this blog sure has dropped off. Perhaps the quantity is not as important as the quality. I like the last line of your post, "God loves me and I know that life will be better in eternity. That is very wise and, oh, so true. Here is an update on my situation is. I got an ECT treatment yesterday, which I really wanted to prevent my mood from slipping again. I went to the emergency and told them it was unacceptable to have to wait for 4 - 6 weeks just to see a new Psychiatrist in order to get maintenance (repeat) ECT. They agreed to speed the process but it required that I stay a few days on the Psych ward. It is a bit of an adventure, and interesting to say the least, but mostly boring. I told my wife it is “Loony Camp …. kind of like Bible Camp but with less Bible”. Best wishes and prayers, Katie, get well soon. Btw, ECT is supposed to be good for bi-polar illness.

  - Lakercom

• June 15, 2008 12:50 a.m.

  Hello, I'm new to this space. I too have struggled with depression most of my life. I also have bi polar disorder. I take medication for each along with a medication that aleviates tremmors that the bipolar med. causes. I am better than I would be without the meds, but I don't think meds alone will ever remedy it. I also have to take meds to counteract the side effects of the meds which cause problems in themselves. It is a vicious cycle. For years I thought that some day I would get to the point where I could functiion normally and accomplish some things in my life that I desired, like finishing college, and having a job that I enjoyed, but I have come to the conclusion that it is not necessary for me to have these things to be content. I have decided to just go with the flow as best I can, and to try to not feel shame for what I cannot accomplish. My life is not what I would like for it to be, but I'm doing my best to make it the best I can in the circumstances and to be content with that. God loves me and I know that my life will be better in eternity.

  - Katie

• June 11, 2008 4:09 a.m.

  My ECT is wearing off. I had a series of treatments in Jan 2007 and everything was good until about a month ago. I am now in my third depression in the last month but thankfully I have been up more than down during that time. It is normal for ECT to require periodic "refreshing"(my word). They are called maitanence treatments. I am curently frustrated because our government healthcare in Canada has a somewhat bureaucratic proceudre where I have to go through a waiting list for a specialist to get these treatments which, in my opinion, is a follow-up to my previous treatment. I sometimes tell people I wish we had separation of healthcare and state. I was, however, encouraged by the level of acceptance and useage of ECT at our public hospital in my part of Canada. I know many government hospitals in the USA discourage ECT or do not offer it.

  - Lakercom

• June 7, 2008 5:51 p.m.

  My doctor has just put me on CYMBALTA. Has anyone taken this before?? Just curious as I don't know much about this medication. Adrian

  - adrian

• June 3, 2008 12:47 p.m.

  My dad was very ill for a year and I was the primary caretaker. I tried to work in my career and be there for him while he was at home, then in a nursing home and then at the hospital.I'd wear my cellphone on my neck waiting for his emergency call. I'd sleep with home phone and cell phone next to my pillow ready for the next emergency. I was stressed and I was depressed. What I did to maintain my sanity was go home and dance ZUMBA for 10 min. I am a ZUMBA FITNESS INSTRUCTOR and teach ZUMBA FITNESS in Scottsdale, AZ to seniors, seated ZUMBA and wheelchair ZUMBA. That was the only thing I could do to relieve my depression and anxiety and be able to do what had to be done for my dad.Thank God for ZUMBA.

  - Shellie Fraddin