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• December 23, 2009 7:48 p.m.

  to help increase your chance of creating a healthy and nutritious environment in which your baby can develop, it is important that you establish a well balanced diet and exercise routine or yoga during pregnancy. if you choose to supplement your diet with synthetic nutrients, be sure to keep tract of daily amounts that you take and let your health care provider know.

  - dorothy

• October 22, 2009 9:50 a.m.

  It's really a wonderful entry thanks for sharing. My wife is pregnant now, and I've looking for this for a long time in Chinese Pregnancy Calendar Thanks for sharing

  - David

• May 11, 2009 7:21 a.m.

  In my experience (almost 37 weeks now) pregnancy is a hopeless spectator sport; everyone seems to be cheering for you, but then they feel entitled to watch you constantly, follow your stats, make predictions, and advise you constantly. My husband and I laugh about it sometimes (we've joked about making a t-shirt with the answers to the common questions- 1. It's a girl; 2. June 3rd; 3. The name's a secret; 4. No, you can't touch). But sometimes it's just plain frustrating; I feel like even my close friends and family don't see me as a person anymore, they're so busy gaping at the belly. Random department store employees feel entitled to call out and ask your due date from across the store; then they speculate loudly as to whether you're having a boy or girl. If it helps anyone else... my best strategy for fending off belly-patters has been to carry a purse or paperwork in front when possible.

  - Liz

• February 5, 2009 1:00 p.m.

  Dear SUE~ I realize that has been a while since your post. But i am seriously amazed at your comment. Just because pregnant women wear clothes that show off their belly that doesn't mean that they are being immodest. I don;t know why you would feel you needed to wear clothes that cover your pregnant belly. I think that pregnant bellies are adorable and if I am comfortable showing it off then that is my decision. If you think that means that people are justified to just walk over and touch me or make comments then you are mistaken.

  - Chrissy

• December 13, 2008 3:24 p.m.

  I’m writing from turkey. I like your writings.. Your explanations are enough.

  - D. Ali

• November 17, 2008 10:44 p.m.

  When strangers would come up and touch my friend's pregnant belly, she would reach over and touch theirs. By the look on their face, you could tell they felt a little awkward. We always had a good laugh after though. :)

  - Sarah

• November 10, 2008 10:43 a.m.

  Dear pregnant ladies, Just remember - you have the right to protect yourselves and sometimes to fight back. It seems that all human beings have a tendency to touch a pregnant belly or to amuse themselves by sending a poor woman into panic attack by telling them a horror story. Being 31 weeks pregnant I heard everything, from "you gained weight on your behind! to "have fun pushing". I have learned to brush everything off. If they come too close - tell them you become extremely nausiated, especially when somebody is touching your stomach (or just hit their hand). To avoid panic - try to educate yourself as much as possible with the help of trusted sources, and when somebody tells you noncense just smile with understanding - they just try to satisfy their psychological needs by scaring you. And brace yourselves - the time will come when every woman (your mother-in-law included) will start telling you what to do with your new baby! Good luck to everyone!

  - Julia

• November 7, 2008 2:59 p.m.

  I too had and have experienced 3 aspects. I'm due in a few days with my second - who will be delivered via c-section. I stopped telling people who were asking that I would be having another c-section because of the dirty looks and comments they'd make. Cripes, my son was 10.5 lbs, there were complications, he had to come out that way, there was no choice. And I'm not going to go through that again with the 2nd. So, I would add that to the list of insensitive comments. Don't judge ladies who are having c-sections. I promise I never will!

  - Sara

• November 3, 2008 12:23 a.m.

  During my pregnancy I had all 3 aspects of this phenomenon occur to me. People at work started asking me if I was pregnant before I was even 12 weeks along. I finally confirmed it to one co-worker and she told me she knew because my butt was bigger than usual. I was shocked. Then once the word was out people started commenting about how big I was and since my sister had twins they all speculated that I was having twins also. Nope. Just one in there! I work in a predominantly female workplace and so the horror stories about labour, a switched baby, and breastfeeding were enough to make me want to quit! AND, then the worst situation of all was when I was assisting a researcher one day and all of a sudden he (a stranger, I might add!) palmed my stomach like a basketball and said "Hey, you're preggers! I hadn't even noticed!" I was SO shocked I just stepped back and said, "I certainly am." I just walked away. I wish now that I responded with a rant about how inappropriate his action and comment was but I think I was just in shock when it happened. It just didn't make sense to me. I couldn't fathom what this man was thinking when he did it. That some people think a woman's pregnant state or belly are fair game in any way - for comments or touching - is just ridiculous.

  - Denise

• October 27, 2008 1:32 p.m.

  Just turned the 5 month corner. I had to email coworkers that I had told to not share my news with others, as random people I didn't know well were talking to me about their labor stories (or worse, their WIFE'S labor story). That seems to have helped. Also a close friend just had his first child and told me his wife would simply slap people's hands if they tried to touch her belly. I will probably do something like that too, if they touch without asking first! I decided to buy the Mayo Clinic Pregnancy Guide as opposed to another popular pregnancy guidebook because it is focused on the healthy, positive, and honest information we need. I don't need fear mongering, guilt-inducing advice now, especially when I'm already anxious and scared about these life changes!

  - Missy

• October 21, 2008 5:59 p.m.

  Well, I'm a doctor (not OB/GYN, though). There's only one thing other than "Congratulations!" I tell my sisters/girlfriends the second I learn they are pregnant: Find yourself the most trustable OB/GYN you can find and regardless of what ANYONE says, believe him and only him (or her). Well intentioned aunts, co-workers, sisters, etc. etc. will only add to the confusion, especially regarding advice on what to eat or not eat, things you can and cannot do, and so on. And horror stories? Kindly cut them short by letting people know you'd rather not hear the story if it's a negative one, since you are trying to keep positive and shiny. In my eyes, pregnant ladies glow! Contratulations to all of you!

  - Maria

• October 20, 2008 2:43 p.m.

  I'm a little over 5 months and still only just showing. For months, while feeling sick as a dog, I wanted to scream to people that I'm pregnant. Now that it's more obvious, I get stares from people who would otherwise not notice me, and everyone is suddenly very interested about how I'm feeling. No touching or horror stories (yet), but it's funny that I'm feeling protective just with the little extra attention I get -- leave me alone! Why are you suddenly so concerned?

  - amanda

• October 17, 2008 8:51 a.m.

  I dread the belly touching and horror stories. I am four months along, and haven't even told the family yet, simply because I'm not ready for it to be a constant topic of conversation. I don't even like to shake hands, so the thought of a stranger rubbing my belly creeps me out...And I am totally expecting the horror stories and fat comments. I ride motorcycles, and when someone learns that, they feel the need to tell me how stupid I am, and then tell me about some horrible wreck they've heard about. It is in poor taste, but maybe that has prepared me for the pregnancy insensitivity. I guess what bugs me most is the people who think labor is such a beautiful, magical experience. Not sure which is worse - horror stories or ridiculous "labor is great" women.

  - J.O.

• October 16, 2008 2:55 p.m.

  Since I've been pregnant, I've been on the receiving end of some incredibly insensitive comments from friends, coworkers and random acquaintances. One woman said she'll be watching me to see how wide my hips get, and another said she's glad it's my butt getting bigger, not hers... why would anyone say anything like that? My feeling is that if you wouldn't comment on a non-pregnant woman's size or weight, it's still inappropriate even if the woman has a boarder in her belly. I've also faced all the "oh, just wait until THIS happens" horror stories from those who've been there. It's incredibly disheartening and makes me dread the upcoming months rather than look forward to this amazing experience. It's actually been pleasant so far, but I live in constant fear of what I've been told is coming up. It's also misleading, because every woman and every body is different... no one gets ALL the possible pregnancy complaints.

  - Katie

• October 11, 2008 9:39 a.m.

  Hi, re: horror stories, with all of the pain meds available today, I would hope that no woman should have to suffer needlessly. One friend, who's a nurse, told me that the philosophy today is to make the mother as comfortable as possible. She said this leads to easier and shorter labors.

  - Sue

• October 10, 2008 1:48 p.m.

  I had my first and only child four years ago. I too got the horror stories from the ladies at work. I asked my doctor for a c-section and he flat out told me NO! and I'm glad I did not. I had my son all natural, very short labor term, four pushes and he was out. If it's your first you won't know what to expect so just stay calm and enjoy the experience. I breastfed also, WOW! I look back on those days a lot. I wasn't able to breast feed for a very long time but I did and it worked out fine. I had a great pregnancy. No sickness whatsoever. My only fear was would I be able to deliver the baby. They said it was going to be about seven pounds. I didn't think that was too big. He came in at a whopping 8.5lbs. Don't listen to others horror stories, just listen to your doctor and your body and you will do great.

  - Jackie

• October 10, 2008 12:08 p.m.

  I prefer honest people... What I hated is people that said, labor in not painful, that it is beautiful and wonderful... How easy breastfeeding is... How they breastfed exclusively for 12 months... Then when you have problems, or things are not smooth as other people say, you feel even more miserable...

  - Erica

• October 6, 2008 3:34 p.m.

  I love hearing the scary stories, mainly because I want to be mentally prepared for the worst case scenario. I'm thinking positive about it, but at the same time I have no problem with lowered expectations. As for belly rubs, I really can't stand people touching me, having never been a touchy-feely person to begin with. I know the advice and judgment (most advice is thinly-laced criticism, it seems) will only intensify after the baby is born, so I better figure out a strategy for preventing unwanted comments from getting under my skin.

  - erica

• October 1, 2008 2:55 p.m.

  For the last month of my first pregnancy, I was asked pretty much on a daily basis if I was having twins. It got to the point where I wouldn't leave my house unless I absolutley had to. I started asking people why they asked, am I that big? That would make them stop and think about what they just asked and it made me feel a little bit better by making them realize how rude they were being. Now every time I see a pregnant woman, I try to make a point of telling her how great she looks (regardless of whether or not she really does!) because I now know that most people are making these comments that are really are not very nice.

  - Sara

• October 1, 2008 8:18 a.m.

  Another way people are rude is when they ask pregnant women having twins if they took fertility medications. How people conceived is no one's business. No one would dare ask someone who conceived the "old fashioned way" for details about that experience. I actually had a very easy delivery (even with twins) and I do make a point to share that with those I think are scared just to show that it's not all horror stories. I do wonder, though, who doesn't think breastfeeding is uncomfortable and time consuming? I have never met anyone who thinks otherwise, and most of my friends did it (I breastfed twins for six months). Just wondering!

  - Rachel

• September 30, 2008 6:01 p.m.

  You have to laugh at these insensitive people with their horrible birth stories! My husband was 60 years old and his mother was still telling everyone how horrible it was to give birth to him. I just thanked her for what she went through and told her it was worth it to me LOL

  - Lynne

• September 28, 2008 3:22 p.m.

  It's too bad that people feel it necessary to share their "bad" pregnancy and labor stories, especially to first time mothers who do not know what to expect. I had a coworker who would share scary stories about what she went through and I just had to start walking away once she started in on it. I chose to be around people who were as positive as I was about my pregnancy, and I am doing the same thing now during my second pregnancy. I also had a coworker ask me if I was carrying twins. I was at a loss for words, I was thinking, 'did she really just say that?' All I could think to say was 'nope, there's just one in there' and smile. I don't think when people say things like that that they are trying to offend, who knows, maybe that is their way of making conversation and trying to be funny. As far as the baby bump touching goes...if someone invades your space and you are uncomfortable, speak up. I was polite but assertive (I tried to use humor when addressing it).

  - Jody

• September 24, 2008 10:24 a.m.

  Hi, I would like to comment on the rudeness of people who think they can touch your baby bump. Some of this comes from the current trend in maternity clothing that shows the size of the belly--or even makes it look bigger than it really is. My son is 32 and when I was preggers, we wore tops that tried to conceal rather than reveal the "bump." No one ever touched us back then so a little modesty may be helpful. As far as the horrible stories go, I heard my share of them, too But I was blessed with a wonderful pregnancy and an easy labor and delivery. I was not supposed to be able to have children so our son is truly a mircle. I would have loved one more, but it wasn't to be.

  - Sue

• September 23, 2008 9:22 p.m.

  All of the uninvited belly rubs and insensitive remarks about your size are merely nature's way of preparing you for motherhood, so toughen up while you can! You are about to be thrown up on, used like a napkin, slapped, pinched, poked, and asked why your belly jiggles. At least all of these offenses will be committed by the most adorable person in the universe, so you won't mind too much! And, you have many years in front of you to socialize them so that they will not grow to be belly offenders!

  - Amy

• September 22, 2008 1:21 p.m.

  I was one of those "horrible experience" people. I had a wonderful pregnancy and a long, unpleasant birth experience, and chose to share the latter with pregnant friends. It took a comment from a good friend who wasn't afraid to speak up that I was scaring her more than helping. I realized I was telling the story more for myself than anything else, so I stopped doing it. Now I ask my pregnant friends how things are going, reassure them that all will turn out fine, and save the scary birth story for Halloween!

  - Anna