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Angela Lunde
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Angela Lunde
Angela Lunde is a dementia education specialist in the education core of Mayo Clinic's Alzheimer's Disease Research Center at the Abigail Van Buren Alzheimer's Disease Research Clinic in Rochester, Minn.
Angela Lunde
The transfer of information about dementias, as well as understanding the need for participation in clinical trials, is an essential component of the education core.
Angela is a member of the Alzheimer's Association board of directors and co-chair of the annual Minnesota Dementia Conference. She is a member of the Dementia Behavior Assessment and Response Team (D-BART), a multidisciplinary outreach service assisting professional and family caregivers in understanding and managing difficult behaviors often present in dementia. She facilitates several support groups, including Memory Club, an early-stage education and support series, and more recently, helped to develop and now deliver Healthy Action to Benefit Independence and Thinking (HABIT), a 10-day cognitive rehab and wellness program for people with mild cognitive impairment.
Angela takes a personal interest in understanding the complex changes that take place within relationships and among families when dementia is present. She is particularly interested in providing innovative and accessible ways for people with dementia and their families to receive information and participate in valuable programs that promote well-being.
"Amid a devastating disease, there are tools, therapies, programs and ways to cope, and it is vital that families are connected to these resources," she says.
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Alzheimer's blog
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Nov. 20, 2008
Let caregivers feel what they feel
By Angela Lunde
Anne Simpson is a wife and now a caregiver for her husband, Bob. Several years ago, I read a book the two of them had written together called "Through the Wilderness of Alzheimer's Disease." The book captured the viewpoint of Anne and Bob as individuals facing a diagnosis of Alzheimer's disease, as well as their journey as a couple.
Recently, I received a copy of Anne's latest book. The book is a collection of poems written by Anne over a period of probably close to a decade. The poems are poignant, sometimes unsettling, yet beautiful. One poem in particular struck me and I reread it several times before I went on to the next. Here's the poem called "Someday" from Anne Simpson's book "Growing Down: Poems for an Alzheimer's Patient" (Calyx Press Duluth) with my reflection below.
Someday —
Maybe someday soon —
I shall wake up with hope,
ready to get up and move on.
But not today.
So don't tell me that
the sun is warm,
the breeze scented with lilac.
Don't recount my blessings
or remind me to be thankful.
Someday —
maybe someday soon —
I will share your laughter,
tell stories and remember my beloved
as he was.
But today
I'll sit with him and hold his hand,
listen to the shallow, ragged breathing,
watch for life to flicker in sightless eyes,
and wait for a flare of recognition.
As I reflected upon this poem, I took from it a message about what caregivers might need from us, their family, friends, and support networks. Contrary to what we often think and do, caregivers may not always need our words of encouragement, praise, pep talks, or best attempts to brighten their day; it is not our job to talk them out of their feelings. Instead, caregivers may need our support, maybe even permission, to simply feel what they feel; which can one day be deep pain or loneliness and the next day hope and gratitude. When we accept and validate caregivers in this way, we can be part of their healing.
25 comments posted
October 4, 2009 4:51 a.m.
I am a caregiver working in a resthome/nursing home. We work with residents with dementia on a daily basis and every day is challenging but unlike carer who look after their loved ones at home, we can leave the facility at the end of each shift. I congratulate those who do choose to care for the family members at home as I know how much effort goes into caring for someone with dementia/alz. Many countries have their own support systems in place for helping people with the responsibility of caring for people with this disease and carers definitely need plenty of support. Our facility also caters for respite care which is invaluable for those carers needing a break. Caregivers need to take care of themselves too and many people don't realise just how tiring it is to look after people with dementia. Fortunately my husband is a caregiver too, so he understands what is involved.
- Jo
May 2, 2009 9:28 p.m.
what invaluable insights and advice! My friends husband has been gripped by this terrible disease, and once upon a time, i was a home health aide specifically for the care of alzheimer patients, she has turned to me for help and undertstanding. it has been over 20 years and i wanted to refresh myself on this disease. the failure to let the caregiver grieve is one of the most commen mistakes friends and families make. the technology today isn't what it was then, and i would have forgotten that i don't have to keep her busy and entertained, i just have to be there for her to let her know that her emotions are valid.
- friend of a caregiver
April 11, 2009 7:41 p.m.
I have been a professional carer and cared for my mum with early onset Alzhiemers, I keep a blog as it's the only place I can really express how devastating this disease is. No one understands unless they've been a carer. People mean well, but those 'cheer up' comments do a lot of damage and only isolate carers even more
- Elanor@dairyofacarer
March 25, 2009 10:58 p.m.
I hope this does not sound shallow and stupid. I am a caregiver for people who have alzheimer's, though the people I care for are not family. It is my desire to help all I can. I have seen how hard it is on family members and I wish I could be there for all of you. Go ahead and grieve, it is a sad and awful thing to have to deal with. I wish I could be there for all of you. Please know that I pray for those of you going through this. You are not alone.
- dschubert
February 8, 2009 2:53 p.m.
Everyone deals with the pain of alz differently, and no one seems to deal with it perfectly at any point. We need to quit beating each other up that someone didn't do enough here or there in some way, like we have in my family. Often, the folks with the day to day contact have been hit the worst emotionally and that's important to remember.
- Snowday
February 4, 2009 9:57 a.m.
I am a caregiver for my mother-in-law of 33 years. She is 88 and in the end stages of alzheimers. Her husband, our father passed away a month ago. They were married for over 54 years. She does not remember his passing, the funeral or any thing that passed 5 minutes ago. She asked all day long for him. She cries every time we explain his passing. We have pictures of him when he was in the nursing home and does not remember. He also had dementia due to CHP. It seems that she is at a stage where he was just one year ago. I have cared for them in my home for almost two years ago. I took them in when thier son, my husband of 33 years was stationed in Iraq for a year. Not only taking care of them but my three children and a grandson during that time. Caregiving takes a terrible toll especially when the caregive is in ill health to begin with. I never knew how much it would take to be there 24/7. I am at a point where my doctors are telling me to get help. or put mom in a home. I am torn but I have my kids 12 and 14 who need me also. Im sorry to say but sometimes I hate to get up in the morning and can't wait for her to go to bed at night and then she is up two or three times in the night wandering the house. We monitor her with a baby monitor in her room. It is really wearing me down. Any ideas? I love her and do care But just wish it were over and she was at peace. Connie
- No name given
February 1, 2009 7:03 p.m.
A friend of mine who i have been helping for 4 years, has alzheimers and now her family decided to put her in a nursing home. the nursing home has quit all her medications. She has been on namanda 10mg. razadyne16mg. and seroquel 100mg. for almost 2 years now. she has not spoken a complete sentence in 3 years. the seroquel was given because she had gotten so angry at her caregivers and hit them and threw things at them. what will happen now that she is off of her medications.
- sandy mcdonald
December 30, 2008 11:36 a.m.
Heidi, this web-site is helpful for information on FTD. http://www.ftd-picks.org/
- Angela
December 30, 2008 11:33 a.m.
Richard, thank you for your honest and sincere words, we ALL need companionship or we wouldn’t be human.
- Angela
December 16, 2008 10:08 p.m.
Don't know how my comments got so screwed up, but my computer kept switching stuff around! I trust that readers will get the gist of my posting.
- Richard
25 comments posted