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  • With Mayo Clinic diabetes educators

    Nancy Klobassa, R.N., and Peggy Moreland, R.N.

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  • June 6, 2009

    Blog: Shocking diabetes diagnosis hits family

    By Nancy Klobassa, R.N., and Peggy Moreland, R.N.

14 comments posted

"Matthew is type 1 diabetic — day 1 of the rest of my life." This is my son's Facebook new profile status. He's 23 and was just diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. He's a civil engineer major at a military academy and realizes he may need to make a career change soon.

The diagnosis is a shock and we definitely weren't prepared for it. I wasn't, just as I wasn't when his older brother, Michael, was diagnosed with diabetes several years ago at the age of 20. Today, I ran the gamut of emotions. I was angry and sad. Why did this have to happen to two of my children? Michael was also in the military when diagnosed. What if they weren't in the military? What could we have done differently as parents? Did we expose them to too many chemicals as young children?

Family members as well as the person diagnosed with diabetes feel grief and worry about how diabetes will affect their lifestyle and future. My son is facing the probability of a medical discharge from military service, as did his older brother. These feelings are common with any chronic disease. Families may also experience:

  • Confusion and shock — Although as a diabetes educator I knew in my head that the symptoms my son had were classic symptoms of diabetes, I had the sense that this can't be real. I couldn't sleep. I worried about his future.
  • Denial — When I suspected that my son had diabetes, I had him check his blood sugar at home. My first reaction was that it must be a mistake. I double-checked the expiration date on the strips and checked his blood sugar again. Again, it was high. I used another meter. Even though in my head I knew that this must be diabetes, I tried to rationalize that this must be temporary, that he was still recovering from the surgery he had four weeks ago. My son also verbalized several possibilities as to why his blood sugar was so high.
  • Anger — Why now? My son has only one year left of college. We wondered if he will need to leave the military and find a non-military college to finish his degree.
  • Anxiety — I worry about what will happen with my son when his leave is over in a couple weeks. Will there be a physician experienced with diabetes when he gets back to base? Will he be able to manage his diabetes in the military environment until he is discharged? Will he be allowed to finish his schooling? Will he be able to continue in sports? Will he have a diabetes educator to go to for assistance? My son is wondering if he will be able to manage his diabetes away from the security of home and his diabetes team. Right now we have more questions than answers.
  • Sadness/Grief — Today, I tried to be strong for my son, but privately I cried. His Facebook status expresses his feelings. Today truly is the first day of the rest of his life because his life will never be the same. He told me this evening that it was a great relief to tell his friends that he has diabetes, because he realized that not only has diabetes affected him it will also affect his friends in some way. My co-worker gave me a hug; his friends sent text messages of support and encouragement.
  • Guilt — A parent may feel to blame if diabetes runs in their side of the family. We do not understand what causes diabetes to develop, and often wonder if there was something that we could have done differently to prevent it.

The first weeks after diagnosis are overwhelming and the emotional and physical energy needed to manage the many changes resulting from a diabetes diagnosis can be exhausting. I know that things will get better. My older son with diabetes is doing well and is such an encouragement. The person recently diagnosed with diabetes will need love, support and involvement from people important to them. We cry together, but we also laugh together. I know we will make it.

Please share your experiences.

Peggy

14 comments posted

blog index

  • November 20, 2009 3:59 p.m.

    Thanks, Lee, for your encouraging comments. I am happy to report that my boys are using their military discipline to manage diabetes very well! You pointed out that you were 48 when diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. Although it is more common in the young, type 1 can happen at any age. We are so glad that you are doing well. Thanks, again! Peggy

    - Nancy & Peggy

  • September 10, 2009 9:02 a.m.

    Peggy - I am a 49 year old grandmother that was diagnosed with Type 1 a year ago. I was suffering from Ketoacidosis because I didn't know I was diabetic. I was in ICU for 8 days with my glucose reading at 700! I had lost 40 lbs in 4 weeks and thank God I finally went to the ER. Having said that, I can tell you the diabetes is life changing. As my doctor said - from this day forward you are a different person. You have to live life differently. But that doesn't mean live it in a bad way. I was never overweight - but losing 10 lbs never hurt anyone! Exercise is good for all of us. Being diabetic forces you to eat and live right because the consequences are severe. I have found that most people don't understand diabetes. They are ever so cavelier about it. Just take your insulin and go about your day. LOL. If it were that easy. Support your sons. They are not lesser people - they are great boys with diabetes. There is so much science being discovered for our disease. I have no doubt that in my lifetime there will be drastic improvements for diabetics. My son is in the Army - and these boys are a rare breed. I'm sorry your boys have to leave the military life, because our country needs te best and the brightest to protect our freedom. Pray - that always helps me. Lee

    - Lee

  • August 17, 2009 12:36 p.m.

    hi peggy im sorry to hear about ur son it is devastating news i should know as my four year old son was diagnosed 3weeks ago im still so shocked i can hardly function but i have to be strong for him he is so frightend its heartbreaking at the moment im takin 1 day at a time he gets four jags a day so its pretty tough going iam totally knackerd as is he his b/g are still up and down he has had two hypos today one very low one 1.8 that was very frightning . I hope ur son can come on here in a couple of months and tell us all how he is getting on maybe il take comfort in knowing he is doing better as this may put my mind at rest as to my sons future . It all just feels so unreal at the moment .I will il pop back to find out how u all get on good luck to ur son let him inspire us all .

    - reece,s mum

  • July 16, 2009 5:38 p.m.

    I also have 2 sons with type 1 diabetes. My 22 year old was diagnosed when he was 19. My younger son was diagnosed a year ago when he was 14. It is very hard for my younger son because he is a teenager. He doesn't want me to hover but I have to step in when I see he's not checking his blood sugar enough or when he forgets to take his Lantus. My older son was out of highschool and in College. He had a better attitude. You do feel extremely quilty when you have 2 children with type 1 diabetes. You feel there must be something you did when they were growing up. We eat very healthy, they have always been very active and rarely eat sweets. We also know of noone in our family with Diabetes. I guess there must have been someone probably on both sides of our families.

    - Dana McCarron

  • July 13, 2009 4:05 a.m.

    My 17 years daughter has just diagnised with type 1 diabatese. It seems that our life is just finished and we are all dead. It is so shocking because we dont hav diabatic history in our family. she has to get marry within 3 months. and we are not sure how she will cope with the stress of marriage and diabatese. Here in Pakistan things are so different. There are no support groups at all. We really need support group to talk with and to share with. so pls anyone help us in coping with this and pls talk to us how to deal with this. At present she is having nice teatment with insulin. But emotional shock is unbearable. We really need help. because since last month. all of our family is in grief and crying all the time.

    - Aamir

  • June 15, 2009 10:55 a.m.

    I'm the gma of a type 1 diabetic who was diagnosed at age 9 and is currently 16 years old. I'm so confused as to my emotions and reality of the situation and scared as the gson will be visiting and hopefully I make the right choices and decisions during his visit. I'm from the old European school of eat, eat & forget the proper approach to cooking, eating and the current lifestyles to eat healthy. I'm suffering from "more is better" and am trying to resolve this by reading and going online to you, Mayo Clinic and others for low-sugar, low-fat, etc., when cooking or serving foods. Gee! reading this I am really rambling, just how I feel. Thank you one and all for just being here for me.

    - justmedee

  • June 13, 2009 11:17 a.m.

    Hello people and fellow type 2 diabetics. I just got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. Yesterday was the day I went over my lab work results with our family dr. I'm 47 years old, I thought relatively healthy, until yesterdays visit at the docs office, and today I'm taking medicine for my rather high blood sugar level...157. My Ac1, was 8.2. He also told me that I had high cholesterol and it was concerning to him. I am now, as you can imagine, searching for all of the information that I can find on how to deal with this common disease. So far, I'm seeing promising things, however, the fact is, the medical community considers it serious. Here is what I've concluded. A doctor is always going to tell you to eat right and exercise regularly. Well, I had that briefing yesterday. The strange thing is , I won't get to see a dietician for 3 weeks, and only know what I'm reading , as far as what is healthy to eat and what isn't? Having shared all of this with you readers, I will go on to say, I fully expect to work hard at eating right, and exercising, now more than ever, in a much more" significan't" manner that 10 days ago, when I knew nothing of this disease. Life is a ride, you must admit. I personally will take this disease on and ride it out for what its worth. Oh, and I do plan on being around for my 80th birthday. Just thought I'd share this. Thanks for listening, and I'll see you again.

    - Derek

  • June 10, 2009 8:07 a.m.

    Hi Peggy, I am also a Type 1 diabetic, who was diagnosed at age 20. That was 34 years ago. Although my self-management is not "perfect", I am proud to say that I dont have the complications that one can get from long term poor control. When I was first diagnosed my brother congratulated me for having diabetes. When I asked him "why he said that?", he told me he knew that I would always take good care of myself. He was right. I agree with the other comments posted that diabetes education is very important. But I also feel that one's attitude is also very important. I feel it is a blessing in disguise. It is my hope that he will empower himself and control his diabetes and not let his diabetes control him.

    - Dr. Bev

  • June 10, 2009 12:49 a.m.

    Hi Peggy, We also have 2 children with type 1 diabetes! Our daughter was diagnosed at age 20 (she is now 29) and our son at age 9 (he is now 12). Our daughter is doing well but because of mental health issues and health issues other than diabetes she could be doing better. She just recently moved out of our home and I worry about her every day that she isn't taking care of herself and I check in on her almost every day. It would be easier if she were still here but I know she needs her independence so I am trying really hard to step back a little. Our son also has autism so his issues are constantly a work in progress and every change for him is like climbing a mountain. The doctors are very understanding at his pediatric diabetes center and they have even taken some trainings about autism. They have been fantastic! They were even able to convince him to get the insulin pump just 2 months ago. They had us in for a pump exploration class last year and he would have no part of it then but they didn't give up on him and now since he got it he just loves it. It isn't easy but it is so much better. His A1c was about 9.3 and now it is 8 and they expect it to be in the 7 range by his appointment next month. I would strongly encourage anyone who is a candidate for a pump to get one as soon as possible. The doctors tell us that our son can expect to live a long healthy life because of the pump, and of course because of all our hard work too. Peggy, try to remain positive, Mary

    - Mary

  • June 9, 2009 3:20 p.m.

    (sorry it cut off before 1500 -- so here is the rest of the sentence) He still resents being diabetic, but knows how to live his life and not let it stop him.

    - Sally (cont.)

  • June 9, 2009 3:16 p.m.

    My son, who is 38 years old, was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at the age of 26 months. I went through all the common emotions one does with such a diagnosis. There have been many ups and downs, but we have always told him he can do whatever he sets his mind to - he doesn't have to limit himself. Be sure to support your child's desire to "be normal," as my little one put it at the age of 4. For a while he would even ask if some one was "real" or "diabetic" when he met them for the first time. He hated wearing name tags as school, as he felt singled out by it, much as he felt diabetes did to him. He's very active, played soccer regularly since he was 4, lived in a variety of places, graduated from college and has good health. Recently, we discovered he may have Graves Disease, yet another challege for us - and we well be fine. Best advise for parents with Type 1 diabetic children of any age is to learn all you can about it and make sure your child does too. Our doctor told us long ago that we would need to know as much as he did about it and even more than he did about my son's personal idiosyncracies regarding diabetes. There is much general information regarding treatment, nutrition and lifestyle that is useful for all, but each person has their own personal reactions and intereactions within those guidelines. Education is of utmost importance!! Double check and compare information and keep abreast of latest developments. He still resents being

    - Sally

  • June 8, 2009 4:14 p.m.

    Hi Peggy, My 24-year old daughter was diagnosed as a type 1 last fall and I am only now coming to grips with the sorrow I felt for months. I am sorry that you are having a rough adjustment. For me it was similar to what I would feel if someone close suddenly died. In some way it was the loss of so many of the dreams I have held for her since she was born. But we are determined to move forward into a future full of challenges yet still possible with proper treatment and diet. My concern for the moment is how she will be able to meet the expenses related to this disease when her insurance coverage ends in a few months.

    - Pamela

  • June 8, 2009 8:43 a.m.

    My sister and I are 18 months apart and when she was 15, she was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. Since she was diagnosed, things have changed dramatically. In those days, health professionals even had the audacity to say that she wouldn't get married, and her options would be limited. All I can say is that's a bunch of crap. Your son, like my sister, will need to eat a certain way. By the way, that way of eating is what's recommended for ALL of us. There's absolutely no reason why your son can't live a fulfilling life and do all the things he wants to do. My sister is living proof of that!

    - Yvette

  • June 7, 2009 10:55 a.m.

    Hi Peggy, I've had type 1 diabetes for 8 years - I'm 23 now and have never let it stop me doing what I want to do. I won't lie that having diabetes has sometime made life a bit harder and I have had periods where I've resented it massively and felt angry that few people fully understand how difficult it is. BUT having said that, the support and understanding of my family have helped me massively and I have a degree from a very good university, a great social life and just got a job in law - diabetes does not stop you doing what you want to do and I hope your son knows that...its a horrific shock to the system but I would like him to know, from another young person who has had to deal with diabetes, that life does not have to change. I do hope that he is alright and carries on with military school!

    - Beth

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