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• September 8, 2009 8:18 p.m.

  If I may comment from the standpoint of a grandma... My oldest daughter lost a beautiful son at 7 1/2 months gestation, stillbirth, in January, no cause ever discovered. He would have been their 2nd child. I find this loss is more poignant as time passes, as it seemed unreal at first. We all held him, grieved, had a service, etc. I made a memory box, too. His picture is in our homes, we think of him often. I know what my special nickname for him would have been. :) Hospital staff were wonderful to us all; the entire family, both sides, shared in this experience. I believe you should allow yourself to grieve; don't try to put it behind you. This child, your child, was and is real to you; you still have love for him/her, unrequited tho' it may seem. We are anticipating a baby girl now, my daughter is almost 5 months along. Anxiety will build as she nears the point at which she lost this son, but she's getting great prenatal care. We believe the best thing we can do is pray for them, trust His wisdom, and be there for them. All our hearts are on edge, just the same. I now have a brother and a grandson I'll meet 'someday', what joy. Meanwhile, we enjoy the family we have here. My heart goes out to each of you who have lost children! May your pain ease with time. Blessings...

  - Julia

• August 29, 2009 10:11 p.m.

  The wounds of my broken heart are still healing as I've gone through the worst nightmare of my life in the last 10 weeks. I discovered that I was miscarrying at my 9 week prenatal visit and ultrasound. After 2 weeks, I decided to have the D&C and try to put this behind me. After surgery, I continued to have complications and 5 weeks later I hemorrhaged at home and had to have an emergency D&C for retained products of conception. Due to a significant loss of blood, I then suffered the affects of anemia for several weeks. Needless to say, it has been a very difficult time emotionally and physically and at times I feel that I haven't completely mourned the loss of the baby because of all of the concerns for my own health during this time. I know in time, this too shall pass and at some point when I am emotionally ready, I will make something special with the few things that I have from the pregnancy (pregnancy test, pictures, etc.) as a rememberance of that precious life. I do fear getting pregnant again, as I can't image going through this again. However, I am blessed to have a wonderful 21 month old little boy who brings me so much joy and happiness and now I have a little one up in heaven waiting to me!

  - Denise

• August 22, 2009 2:47 a.m.

  I have always had a hard time communicating my feelings even to my husband. I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks the friday before this last Easter. I was an emotional wreck for weeks, I couldn't even speak to my best friend who was also pregnant at that time, I couldn't watch pregnancy shows, nothing. Now we are trying to get pregnant again, and all I am is scared. I don't think that I could go through another miscarriage but yet in some way I think that having a baby might help the healing process...that seems selfish doesn't it. All I have of rememberance of my first baby is a picture of my husband and I 4 days before I found out that my baby was dead. To this day the memory of me laying on that ultrasound table is more vivid in my mine than my own wedding day.

  - Jessica

• August 21, 2009 1:11 a.m.

  its funny how u can miss & love a baby u din't ever plan for or even know about utill after u miscarriage

  - Sammy

• August 20, 2009 3:05 p.m.

  I have lost seven children to either miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy. I do have three healthy children, and even a Grandson. When I lost my children, I grieved in private. Back then I was told there was a reason why the baby did not go to term. I believe I have emotional scars from each one that I lost, but do not even know how to go about healing from it. I was hospitalized with all of them overnight at the least, and most I had to either have surgury, D & C, and blood transfusions. The hospitals never sent grief counsolers or pasters to my room. The nurses just left me pretty much alone like I was taboo. Any sugestions on how to grieve and heal for the children I lost would be wonderful. ~Sheila

  - Sheila

• August 20, 2009 8:58 a.m.

  I first read your previous entry about miscarriage when I lost my first baby in May 2008. I still visit the page to read comments that are there, and have volunteered with Heartstrings, an organization in NC that supports women who are dealing with pregnancy loss and a subsequant pregnancy after a loss. This organization really helped me during both and I long to support someone else in the way that I was helped. One thing that I did after the loss of our first baby was to create a memory box for him/her. My loss was at 9 weeks, so the tokens that I have are the positive pregnancy tests, the gift I gave my husband to announce our pregnancy, ultrasound photos, even the receipts from the dinner out when we celebrated the baby on the way. I also included the pregnancy journal that I started writing in and sympathy cards and copies of emails we received after the loss. On the anniversary of the loss, this past May, I brought the little box out and looked through it. This was huge in my healing and remembering of our baby. One day I can show our little boy, now 4 months old, these things and share with him about the sibling that he has, but doesn't have. For me, this kind of remembering is really helpful, and will be there with me in the years to come. Miscarriage isn't something you "get over"- but something you go through.

  - Sarah