Mayo Clinic Health Manager

Get free personalized health guidance for you and your family.

Free

E-Newsletter

Subscribe to receive the latest updates on health topics. About our newsletters

• Housecall
• Alzheimer's caregiving
• Living with cancer

• January 30, 2010 10:19 a.m.

  As the saying goes: Half the battle is just showing up. So do your best to be around people, even if you don't feel like socializing. Exercise is helpful too. If you just don't feel energetic enough, do anything that gets you moving, it doesn't need to be strenuous. Do not be too hard on yourself if you move slowly and think slowly and can't do everything you used to do. It takes time but you will get better.

  - Susan

• January 30, 2010 12:04 a.m.

  I used to have a friend who would, no matter how hard I argued, MAKE me do things with him. He would physically drag me out of my bed, dress me, and FORCE me to go places with him. I loved him for it. I was miserable most of the time, but he did this so positively and lovingly that it made me forget that I was depressed. He's a few cities away now, and my depression has worsened, but If there's ever a time where I make the choice to fight it off, I always think of him. He was my knight in shining armor. He made it okay for me to feel what I was feeling, but not okay to give into it. He always exclaimed: THROW yourself into social situations! Fake it until you feel it! God bless that boy.

  - Michelle

• January 23, 2010 10:03 p.m.

  Sara, My heart goes out to you. I struggle with my depression and have many times thought. I didn't want to live. Last night in bed I decided that the greatest HELP I have is: E exersize, Lights (I also have Seasonal Affective Disorder) I feel peace when I sit under the lights- and P prayer. Honestly I have been helped soo much in that way, even though when I am depressed it is very hard to pray. Sometimes I Just plead "help me, help me" Jenny

  - Jenny

• January 21, 2010 11:53 a.m.

  Ok this is Sara again and I messed up in my original comment a bit sorry. 2006 suicide attempt I was hospitalized and attended intensive group, individual, and ECT therapies. Right now I am taking Pristiq for my depression and at first in 2007 thought it was working but I dont think it is helping at all now. I could go on for another 1500 words but I dont wanna bore any of you any longer. But, seriously if anyone can help me please I beg of you please help me thanks.

  - Sara

• January 21, 2010 11:44 a.m.

  Ok I don't know if sharing my story will help or not, but here goes I guess it can't hurt. I am just ready to turn 35 in a couple weeks and am a totally single mom of 2 girls( by totally single I mean that their father is in prison and has no involvment in our lives). I have had severe depression as long as I can remember, since I was a very young child. My mother abandoned me at age 4, she ran off with her boyfriend and I was raised by my father, who is awesome and has devoted his life to my brother and I and now to my daughters. I still have a horrible relationship with my mom, she wants nothing to do with me only my kids. I wasn raped by one of my brothers friends at age 14 and attempted suicide shortly there after and then started my battle trying anti-depressants, I have been on over 90% of them. In 2006 I attempted suicide again and was ECT, I was at that point approved for disability and have been on it since. I have tried nearly anything and everythng and still I am not feeling better. I am sittling now in front of my SAD lite which I think is a joke but doing it anyway. I also am being treated for hypothyroid, high bp, anxiety, insomnia, and chronic pain. I exercise 3 to 5 times a week, but honestly dont ever wanna get out of my bedroom I live in my bed! I have absolutely no friends, noone can handle my illnesses for very long and everyone leaves, pretty soon I feel like my kids will want to leave, they would rather stay anywhere than with me. HELP ME PLEASE!

  - Sara

• January 9, 2010 10:13 p.m.

  i am 42 yrs old and have been dealing with chroinc depression for as long as i can remember. i'm exhausted emotionally and physically. i've been on many different antidepressants over the yrs and i can relate to all the things i've read on this blog. depression robs you of so much and those you love. i've learned over the yrs how to know then my depression is getting out of my control and things that i can do to help that (getting out of the house, proper rest, diet, exercise, ect.) but it take so much energy that sometimes, like now, i think there is no way i can live with this for another 40 yrs. That is a daunting thought! My husband is a great support but it is hard for him of course. It just stinks that i can't be rid of this evil monster that is with me every minute of every day, but i'm not giving up, at least for now. i will keep fighting to not let the monster win and i hope and pray for all the rest of you fighting too that you will not give up either. Stay strong.

  - chris

• December 20, 2009 8:15 p.m.

  Dear Abby, Hope your feeling better by now. I know how you feel I am not an angel but have experienced the pain of depression,anxiety and of worthlessness. Hope I can encourrage you. Take care, Mary and write back if you wish.

  - Mary

• December 16, 2009 10:34 p.m.

  I agree with steve and others that mentioned how hard it is to do the work-outs and diet that actually help stave off depression. It seems so hard... if I do these things... it gets better but doesn't go away completely. It is hard to keep it up... I sometimes will eat and drink the hard core coffee... as like a rebellious attitude... the hardest part for me is not getting any compassion from my husband... It's very disheartening and forces me to have to remember who I am!

  - Laurie

• December 11, 2009 11:38 p.m.

  Damn hard to be resilient when you wake up every morning and feel like offing yourself. When that sickening feeling lingers on and on,no matter the amount of anti-depressants,ECT you have received, and nothing changes for the better,you begin to feel hopeless. You know then that clinical depression is one heck of a enemy lying within you and your brain.

  - Steve

• November 29, 2009 8:11 p.m.

  Resilience is, to me, the antithesis of depression. Depression makes me slow and brittle. Saying "be resilient" is a slap in the face--it's like saying "buck up and deal."

  - Leslie

• November 24, 2009 10:39 a.m.

  I agree with the premise of resilence in fighting depression. My bout with depression, began several years before it manifested in anxiety, suicidal thinking, sleeplessness, and anger. For years I kept secret the fact that I wasn't content, that I had made problematic choices that had gotten me into the mess that finally became full-blown depression. I knew myself very well and what I needed to (at least) begin the journey AWAY from depression. I refused medication (I don't say that's for everyone), and kept working toward the changes I needed, least of which was a good job that helped with my debt. It's been two years since I've had any thought of wrapping my car around a lightpost at 75 mph--Yes! I almost did that one day--but a sudden red light abruptly changed my thinking. But everytime I see a commercial on depression, I remember well how it felt; and I always tear-up a little. People don't understand the hold that depression/anxiety can have on a person. Resilience, however, and a little luck, helped me live through it.

  - Tamara

• November 16, 2009 4:55 p.m.

  working out is an excellent suggestion for staving off depression - just one problem: depression robs me of the energy to get up and move, so how in the world can I be expected to find enough energy to work out?

  - BB

• November 15, 2009 5:23 p.m.

  How about starting to go to the gym. Increasing your core's strength and getting your blood circulating is as asset in both helping back pain and depression.

  - Sue Griffith

• November 3, 2009 10:12 a.m.

  Dealing with depression and low back pain has made my life miserable. My children are tired of seeing me this way. I have fewer good days than bad ones anymore. I am trying to be as positive as possible to keep busy, even though I am limited as to what I can do physically. I have no real family support. My doctor wants me to find a support group and to get more with friends.

  - Alicia

• October 24, 2009 9:16 p.m.

  Thanks great article. I am dealing with a spouse who has male depression. It frequently manifests in different ways such as anger or too much video game playing, etc. instead of ways I would have identified as a woman.

  - JA

• October 24, 2009 9:15 p.m.

  Thanks great article. I am dealing with a spouse who has male depression. It frequently manifests in different ways such as anger or too much video game playing, etc. instead of ways I would have identified as a woman.

  - JA

• October 17, 2009 2:15 p.m.

  i am 51 n recently i got a breakup and have been feeling very down and out and doing things that is making me crazy! is there any angel out there who can hear me out?

  - abby

• October 1, 2009 5:40 p.m.

  I love the concept of resiliency and you are right it is not easy. I am a therapist who chose the name of resilient solutions as my office name.

  - becky

• September 19, 2009 12:23 a.m.

  Rsilency, we try to instill that in soldiers, some days I can cope with the work stress, feeling inadequate, passive agrressive people, my personal challenges, but other days the smallest things can bury me in depression, despair and self loathing. I get tired of fighting this year after year, no end, no light at the end of the tunnel, no hope for a cure, it just pops up when it wants, and I wonder, How did I get to this placec

  - mona

• September 18, 2009 1:00 p.m.

  I have been diagnosed as having Bipolar 1 disorder but am well and lead a completely normal like.

  - CHRIS

• September 17, 2009 9:13 p.m.

  The hardest thing i find with depression is since i have been diagnosed with cancer(i`m also a diabetiic) is my lack of mobilty that causes me the most problems.I am 67yrs old and just feel stuffed all the time..

  - Terence

• September 16, 2009 8:39 p.m.

  How can one be resilent when facing a life threating desease such as cancer. Is constant tears a sympton of depression of something more serious?

  - Rheba

• September 16, 2009 5:48 p.m.

  It's hard to be resilient when you NEVER get better. I wake up feeling like I have the flu and am exhausted. I lay on the couch for hours, get some breakfast and by mid-afternoon I have a migraine. My body temperature does not regulate, so by 5PM of so it's around 100 degrees. I have been so good hiding it from others for years that people were stunned when I quit. I've been on SSDI for about 4 years and just spent a week at Mayo's Mood Clinic. Besides having moderate to severe depression I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and many physical issues such as herniated discs, osteoporosis, and fibromyalgia to go along with the depression and migraines. I have faked out other people for so long that I finally hit a breaking point and ended up in the hospital for what used to be called a nervous breakdown. They call my depression "smiling depression, but at home, where I am most of the time I just sit on the couch and stare into space. You cannot be resilient when you have no life. You have no life because you have no feelings, no motivation and derive no pleasure from anything. Depression is a fight, an ongoing fight. There are lots of therapies, good ones. Learn about them, get some support and try some medicine to supplement your fight. That's it. You either fight for your life or you lose it. Keep up the good fight. God Bless.

  - Anna

• September 16, 2009 8:58 a.m.

  i have to take care of tasks and people. i have to sob in private. the people i see professionally are only avai. at their appt. times-they dont respond to phone calls, so even then i feel alone. i have to act semi normal so i dont lose my job but its so hard that i am scared. if you act normal the assumption is that you are ok-when you are not.

  - no one

• September 15, 2009 7:36 p.m.

  The problem with being *resilient* is that people assume that the problem has been solved and now you are fine. You never get any help as long as you appear to have solved your depression, or you seem well enough so people can convince themselves you have. Sometimes its better to feel what you feel.

  - Appleby