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    Gabrielle J. Melin, M.D.

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  • Sept. 11, 2009

    Blog: Be resilient when fighting depression

    By Gabrielle J. Melin, M.D.

16 comments posted

One online dictionary defines "resilience" as "an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change."

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I don't agree, however, that resilience necessarily should mean "adjusting easily" to misfortune or change. I don't think many things in life are easy. I do believe resiliency is a skill that some have naturally while others need to learn and practice it.

I'm not trying to say that being resilient will cure your depression. It's a general way of approaching life's inevitable stressors that will make a difference. Everyone has stress and change in their life. Even change that is viewed as good, such as getting married, having children, getting a new job, etc. is stressful.

Navigating stress successfully takes energy; both physical and emotional. Get support. You don't have to do it alone. Learn to accept what's in your control and what's not. Prioritize and do your best to keep things in perspective. Know that you are not alone! Share with the group some tips you use on staying resilient in the face of stressful situations.

16 comments posted

blog index
  • November 16, 2009 4:55 p.m.

    working out is an excellent suggestion for staving off depression - just one problem: depression robs me of the energy to get up and move, so how in the world can I be expected to find enough energy to work out?

    - BB

  • November 15, 2009 5:23 p.m.

    How about starting to go to the gym. Increasing your core's strength and getting your blood circulating is as asset in both helping back pain and depression.

    - Sue Griffith

  • November 3, 2009 10:12 a.m.

    Dealing with depression and low back pain has made my life miserable. My children are tired of seeing me this way. I have fewer good days than bad ones anymore. I am trying to be as positive as possible to keep busy, even though I am limited as to what I can do physically. I have no real family support. My doctor wants me to find a support group and to get more with friends.

    - Alicia

  • October 24, 2009 9:16 p.m.

    Thanks great article. I am dealing with a spouse who has male depression. It frequently manifests in different ways such as anger or too much video game playing, etc. instead of ways I would have identified as a woman.

    - JA

  • October 24, 2009 9:15 p.m.

    Thanks great article. I am dealing with a spouse who has male depression. It frequently manifests in different ways such as anger or too much video game playing, etc. instead of ways I would have identified as a woman.

    - JA

  • October 17, 2009 2:15 p.m.

    i am 51 n recently i got a breakup and have been feeling very down and out and doing things that is making me crazy! is there any angel out there who can hear me out?

    - abby

  • October 1, 2009 5:40 p.m.

    I love the concept of resiliency and you are right it is not easy. I am a therapist who chose the name of resilient solutions as my office name.

    - becky

  • September 19, 2009 12:23 a.m.

    Rsilency, we try to instill that in soldiers, some days I can cope with the work stress, feeling inadequate, passive agrressive people, my personal challenges, but other days the smallest things can bury me in depression, despair and self loathing. I get tired of fighting this year after year, no end, no light at the end of the tunnel, no hope for a cure, it just pops up when it wants, and I wonder, How did I get to this placec

    - mona

  • September 18, 2009 1:00 p.m.

    I have been diagnosed as having Bipolar 1 disorder but am well and lead a completely normal like.

    - CHRIS

  • September 17, 2009 9:13 p.m.

    The hardest thing i find with depression is since i have been diagnosed with cancer(i`m also a diabetiic) is my lack of mobilty that causes me the most problems.I am 67yrs old and just feel stuffed all the time..

    - Terence

  • September 16, 2009 8:39 p.m.

    How can one be resilent when facing a life threating desease such as cancer. Is constant tears a sympton of depression of something more serious?

    - Rheba

  • September 16, 2009 5:48 p.m.

    It's hard to be resilient when you NEVER get better. I wake up feeling like I have the flu and am exhausted. I lay on the couch for hours, get some breakfast and by mid-afternoon I have a migraine. My body temperature does not regulate, so by 5PM of so it's around 100 degrees. I have been so good hiding it from others for years that people were stunned when I quit. I've been on SSDI for about 4 years and just spent a week at Mayo's Mood Clinic. Besides having moderate to severe depression I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and many physical issues such as herniated discs, osteoporosis, and fibromyalgia to go along with the depression and migraines. I have faked out other people for so long that I finally hit a breaking point and ended up in the hospital for what used to be called a nervous breakdown. They call my depression "smiling depression, but at home, where I am most of the time I just sit on the couch and stare into space. You cannot be resilient when you have no life. You have no life because you have no feelings, no motivation and derive no pleasure from anything. Depression is a fight, an ongoing fight. There are lots of therapies, good ones. Learn about them, get some support and try some medicine to supplement your fight. That's it. You either fight for your life or you lose it. Keep up the good fight. God Bless.

    - Anna

  • September 16, 2009 8:58 a.m.

    i have to take care of tasks and people. i have to sob in private. the people i see professionally are only avai. at their appt. times-they dont respond to phone calls, so even then i feel alone. i have to act semi normal so i dont lose my job but its so hard that i am scared. if you act normal the assumption is that you are ok-when you are not.

    - no one

  • September 15, 2009 7:36 p.m.

    The problem with being *resilient* is that people assume that the problem has been solved and now you are fine. You never get any help as long as you appear to have solved your depression, or you seem well enough so people can convince themselves you have. Sometimes its better to feel what you feel.

    - Appleby

  • September 15, 2009 6:15 p.m.

    One way i cope is by resting both my mind and body. Reading a good book in the quietness of my bedroom, away from other activities in the house, settles my mind. Keeping up with daily walks refreshes my nerves. Being careful to eat right and pay attention to my needs for sleep also helps a lot. Having someone with whom i can share my anxious feelings always makes me less tense. Finally, i try to always maintain a thankful outlook, looking for that silver lining in every cloud.

    - Charlene

  • September 12, 2009 11:36 a.m.

    One way that I adjust to change is to make sure I have social outlets. If I can take breaks from myself by sharing my time with others, I walk away feeling somewhat refreshed. It's nice to learn about others' day to day stuff, and stop thinking about my own demons for a little while.

    - M

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