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• February 7, 2010 6:31 p.m.

  In response to No Name Given: Your attitude toward your son will certainly not help him in any manner. It doen't matter that your son comes from a two parent family, gets good grades, etc.. depression and mental illness can affect anyone. Often someone with depression will do their best to hide it from their loved ones. I know this because I lived and continue to live this way!! My parents never knew how anxiety ridden, depressed, and suicidal I was my whole life. I was an honor student right through college, had a lot of friends, but had parents who buried their heads in the sand when it came to any signs of my depression. Your son is trying to open up to you now and you're just slamming that door shut....BIG MISTAKE

  - stella

• February 4, 2010 1:14 a.m.

  I have no insurance,because I can't work due to my mental health issues, I have been on so many different medications, the doctor keeps changing my medications, in hopes of finding one that works, I need help, I can't work, because I can't sleep and I have searched all over the internet for help, with depression, I would like to go to a treatment center, but they will not see clients with out insurance, (even if you commit to self pay). The I called the hospital and asked for mental health and they said they can only see me if I am suicidal and to call my doctor, but I can't get in to see the doctor for like four weeks, no one seems to be able to help me right now. NO WONDER PEOPLE COMMIT SUICIDE

  - X

• February 2, 2010 9:19 a.m.

  I dont know what to do! I can not go on like this! medicaton is not effective for me, as I found out in 2007 at the mayo clinic, since then, local Dr. has me on all kinds of supplaments, not working! tells me to get out, exersise! how, when most days I cant get out of bed? last week he asked me if it was lazyness? I dont think he has a full understanding of the illness! I only have MI medicad, so Dr options are limmited! I dont know what to do? I know I cant do this! anymore!

  - Doug

• December 30, 2009 2:05 a.m.

  My son has suffered mostly silently with depression and unexplainable feelings, suicidial, etc. he reached out to me for help, with no job or insurance I contacted our county health department. I was spoke to with the most respect, referred to the township office where my son met with doctors who actually diagnosed him (that years of therapy when younger and covered by our insurance as a minor, didn't) and are treating him. He's understanding his disease, happier and adjusting...and able to function with the rest of us..almost like a miracle. He's told me things I never knew he suffered with. There are people out there who can help you and there are many, many walking in your shoes...that are unaware how common this is. Your life is precious, touches so many people, many you are not even aware of...so Please, if you don't have insurance, contact your local county health department...they charge on a sliding scale, if you're out of work, it's free...Please take advantage of this service...it's the most rewarding tax dollars I pay! And they must be good...my son never misses his appointments!! :)

  - Jill

• December 1, 2009 4:52 a.m.

  The one and only thing that helped me was Christ...not religion. I started listening to a preacher by the name of Henry Mahan who teaches Christ and his mercy and grace and not my works and found Christ. I have never had such peace. Please listen to some of his messages and you will know what i mean.

  - Ginger

• November 18, 2009 11:29 a.m.

  My husband and I went with our 19 y.o. son to speak with his counselor last night. For the past 6-9 mo., my son has been talking about what he believes to be a mental disorder. He speaks of mood swings and wanting to hurt himself. Says he has considered suicide. We are having a lot of difficulty with this report. This young man has made good grades, been quite successful at his part time retail sales job, has nice friends, dates a lovely girl. plays guitar. He is the second son of an intact two parent family, has three sibs, close extended relatives. Has been involved in lots of age appropriate activities. Has used marijuana and alcohol. While this is ill advised, it has not been an activity that has landed him in trouble with school or the law. He has typically made a fuss over fairly minor injuries. He has had stitches, no broken bones or dislocations, no hospitalizations, no accidents. He says he has cut himself, but there is only one scar...I do the laundry, and have not ever found any suspicious blood. He is handsome, intelligent and well liked by teachers, bosses, coaches. He is disorganized and a procrastinator, often puts himself under pressure because of these two qualities. His therapist of one week's duration takes my son at his word. We want to be supportive, but we are angry, frankly. We are a family that believes in hard work, prayer and gratitude for what you have been given, which in his case, is a great deal.

  - No name given

• November 15, 2009 9:22 a.m.

  Thank you, Kathleen. I did go, she didn't send me to the hospital, and I like her. I feel stupid because the only way I can have someone listen to me is if I pay them, but I hope it will work out and I will come out a better person.

  - Anne

• November 14, 2009 6:42 p.m.

  Anne, I read your letter. I hope you found someone to listen. I will listen for as long as you need someone to listen. Don't kill yourself please.

  - Kathleen

• November 7, 2009 8:08 p.m.

  This week I have been finishing up writing letters and information about what is going on inside me. I have a plan and am ready to go, but I did call and make an appointment with a psychologist and I really do hope they can help me, or steer me in the right direction. I'll see what happens in the next few days. I did try talking, but no one really listened. I'm tired.

  - Anne

• November 4, 2009 12:05 a.m.

  For me it was a long road down into the deep dark hole, before I tried try to commit suicide. Finally one day, sunny and beautiful outside, I took a great deal of medication to stop the agony of living. I ended up being 31/2 days in ICU. Then 2 weeks in the mental ward. I struggled for 5 yrs. not to try again. I now feel I will not be as I was before this terrible disease. I still think, sometimes, about the peace suicide would bring. However 1 yr. ago last month my sister,60 yrs. old killed herself. Now I remember the pain and sadness I felt, the regrets that I didn't listen, even tho I know the signs of suicide. Wouldn't my killing myself bring terrible grief to those who care about me? When I woke up after almost succeeding in ending my life, the first thing I remember is being glad I was alive. If you feel you are going to hurt yourself, phone someone, go to another place, if possible. Phone a helpline for suicide, I have, they are very helpful when I have phoned. Please don't do it. Things change, you'll one day, be glad to be alive.

  - diane

• November 2, 2009 1:36 a.m.

  I've been so far down and everything looks so dark sometimes. I read this stuff where it says to call someone and talk, but it seems like no one really wants to listen. They just want you to take some pills. All of those pills have terrible side effects. No one is really listening at all.

  - Karen

• October 28, 2009 3:19 p.m.

  When you have mental illness in your family,please don,t be afraid to speak about it..My dear sister and brother both ended their lives due to the pain of serious mental illness.He was 33 and she was 50. I had 6 children and all are effected by addiction in one form or another.My dear daughter died 2 yrs ago of an"accidentel overdose" I was in the medical field so I know that these things are true illnesses.If those of us who hve been hit by this awful tsunami of life have the courage to speak up perhaps in time there will be less stigma.We are not alone

  - Virginia

• October 27, 2009 8:40 p.m.

  Our 27 year old son was diagonsed with depression 5 yers ago, it worsens in the fall when the weather starts changing toward winter. He refuses medical help, he self medicated and stopped the anti-depressants the last two time. Won't call the therapist claiming that he has no money. He works in construction and given the economy, he's sinking financially.He admits that his house is not a healthy place for him, yet he refuses to stay anywhere else. He has many options that he's not capable of seeing. I too was diagonosed some years ago and it takes a lot of work and support to learn the cognative behavior lessons. What can family do if someone doesn't want, or thinks he deserves, help? Thanks and God Bless you all!

  - Cindy

• October 13, 2009 3:09 p.m.

  My son , 23 is married and has recently lost his 15month old son to a seizure. Afterwards he lost his job, they moved into another home and he worked a couple of days. He cannot handle working around other people. He is unemployed therefore, no insurance and he desperately needs help and has asked me to help. Do you know of an organization or help free for him? I am afaid the hospital will turn him away since he cannot get medicare until the new baby arrives in March. He cannot wait that long. PLEASE help.

  - Lisa

• October 12, 2009 4:38 p.m.

  Terence Don't give up-not on your son, your wife, and especially don't give up on yourself. The "three of you" can fix this. It is a very common family problem and one that can be solved with outside help-outside because you are all caught up in the middle with that crippling emotion-anger (cause of depression). It blinds us and prevents communication. The first step is to realize that there is no blame here. It isn't your son's fault that he can't get past whatever fear is keeping him stuck and dependent. It isn't wife's fault that she is paralyzed from fear (and possibly guilt-typical mother's reaction) to see that she is enabling his dependence with her co-dependency. And it certainly isn't your fault that you see this and are frustrated, scared and angry. Anger is eating you up (depression). It's no one's fault. The family is in crisis and needs an outside objective evaluation - how to get each of you to understand yourselves and each other. Hopefully, that will lead to empathy, love and the healing you need to work together as a family to find happiness. Outside help? a professional relationship counselor, a clergyperson, your doctor, even a trusted friend. Learn how others have dealt with this same problem-family experts have written books on this very subject-you can also get advice on the internet. I've been there-alanon helped me-for families with any kind of co-dependency issues. My son now has a family and just moved to Europe. I miss him!!!!!!!!!!!

  - Jane

• October 7, 2009 8:18 p.m.

  (CONTINUED) I don’t know if there was one thing or a combination of things that has given him the courage and desire to move forward, but I know a lot of it has to do with his willingness to talk about his different range of emotions through the experience and having people close by ready to listen. I would just suggest to anyone feeling suicidal to TRY TO REACH OUT TO SOMEONE. If you have close friends, use that gift and just communicate your feelings. If that isn’t enough, or you don’t have someone close to you, or if you’re too uncomfortable to talk to a close friend try looking for groups online for people who are suffering. There are way too many people out there feeling hopeless and at a loss of what to do, and you don’t need to suffer alone! There are also suicide hotlines, don’t be ashamed! Take the necessary steps to get back into living instead of letting your mind and feelings destroy you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, AND YOU CAN FEEL BETTER! Please, don’t let your depression control you. It’s so easy to just let yourself be miserable, but being content with your life can be an ongoing trial. Please, don’t give up…there’s a good chance that you only have one life to live, so don’t waste it. It doesn’t mean you have to forget all the bad things that have happened, it just means you don’t let those feelings/thoughts control you, and you don’t let other people’s deaths make your own. Please, reach out and just try your hardest.

  - Malory

• October 7, 2009 8:16 p.m.

  Hello to anyone reading this. Sharon, I don’t know if you’ll be reading these comments again, but I hope you do… your words have deeply touched me, and have given me an urge to comment. I could never understand the hurt and the loss that you go through, I wish you peace, love, and kindness to follow you through your life. A similar situation happened with my aunt, uncle, and cousin. My cousin took his life in 2004…it still shocks me to say/write that. It was extremely hard on our family, and especially difficult on my aunt and uncle. All of us were completely shocked, and we also had feelings that we should have known something wasn’t right, that he wasn’t feeling or thinking right. It’s an extremely hard situation to go through. My aunt couldn’t handle it, along with other things, and she also took her own life in 2006. I don’t know what hurt more, losing her or watching my uncle go through this alone(we other family members were there for him as much as we possibly could, but it’s not the same as having immediate family- or a spouse- beside you..) My uncle has been such a strong man. I know inside he probably thinks he is weak and has sadness that no one will know about, but watching him go through life- despite being left behind by both his only child and his wife- is such an inspiration in a way. He still has kept the desire to live this one life he was given- despite the pains he continues to bare- he is accepting this entire experience and existence. I don’t know if the

  - Malory

• October 7, 2009 9:56 a.m.

  My son took his own life on Sept. 14. I just can't accept that he would do such a thing. I have an empty hole in my heart and feel as though I just cannot go on. I feel an overwhelming guilt that I should have know something was wrong. There must have been something I could have done. I cannot think straight and can barely function. I am still numb. I cannot bare this loss. How do you go on?

  - sharon

• October 6, 2009 8:50 a.m.

  Hello All- This blog is meant to stimulate conversation. As you can see- you are not alone. As you can all understand, we cannot diagnose or treat on blog. We are very sorry you are struggling. Your job is to pick up the phone now and call a trusted health provider, Pastor, friend , etc. and ask for help! Depression is treatable and you deserve to feel better-please call a live person right now!

  - Mayo Clinic .com Staff

• October 3, 2009 6:49 p.m.

  Ok.You write a comment about how you feel what happens next? I live in Australia and just dont know where to turn..So whats the answer.Just do it.!!

  - Terence

• September 23, 2009 1:47 a.m.

  I feel that i am at the lowest point of my life that i have ever been.My problem is my youngest son who is 43yrs old still lives with us and has not got a permanent job..Why should i get myself so upset about this.I have told him to get out of the house and he whinges that how is he going to support himself.Unfortunately my wife sticks up for him and i just dont know what to do.I just feel like chucking it all in..Had enough.!!!

  - Terence

• September 21, 2009 4:06 p.m.

  Eh, I've just come to accept it as inevitable. It would barely make a ripple, and my husband would be better off in the long run.

  - ivy

• September 18, 2009 8:35 a.m.

  My dad was ill, he had a child bride who got pregnant, (not by hm) and he was miserable. Never gave any clues to his thoughts.... the day he committed suicide his brother had come to visit, and accidently let Dad's poodle out the front door.. minutes later the poodle died after being hit by a car... later that day, alone and very depressed, my dad put a shotgun in his mouth and fired once. There are signs, and I am sure there were signs, but we were on the other side of the country and had no idea of his pain. All I can say is that listening, and really thinking about what a depressed person says, could save their lives one day. Hopelessness is what Dad felt that day, and an awful loss of his beloved poodle... he had no one to trust, and no one to talk to... wished he'd called one of his daughters... but he didn't.

  - shari

• September 17, 2009 11:57 a.m.

  Wow, this is me. I'm just wondering what's going to make me snap someday or if I'll be okay going on like this.

  - DAO