Mayo Clinic Health Manager

Get free personalized health guidance for you and your family.

Free

E-Newsletter

Subscribe to receive the latest updates on health topics. About our newsletters

• Housecall
• Alzheimer's caregiving
• Living with cancer

• January 27, 2010 10:37 a.m.

  My ex-wife had been taking Effexor for some time citing depression after child birth. Eventually she came to the conclusion that she needed to "remove" me from our home to be happy. Her Clinical Social worker guided her through the restraining order process. I was removed from our home in order to make her "feel better". leaving her alone with our two small children. Suffice it to say, I was in complete and total fear for the safety of my children. Now, at least I made her family aware. We're still dealing with it. I lost my job due to the stress but am attempting to re-gain my position via legal means. This company is a major utility and is bound by certain rules. We agreed I needed leave time,midway through a new manager took over and ordered my return although mentally and emotionally I could not. This manager knew of the circumstances surrounding the needed leave but was only concerned about the bottom line. I was a vested employee with 21 years. The company went to temps. I am attempting to prove "cruel and inhuman treatment". This manager in fact caused me to make a decision that I was unable to in my fragile state state of mind, thereby forcing me away from my employment. A decision that under normal circumstances I would not have made. How can I show that they took advantage of me during a very fragile state of mind?

  - Peter

• December 28, 2009 10:20 p.m.

  I think my youngest daughter is depressed. She had a very hard time getting things done during the holiday. She told her husband she is depressed. I am going to her home tomorrow to talk to her and see if I can get her to go to the doctor. Depression runs on both sides of the family. Some how it skipped me, which I am very thankful for. I will do what I can to get her to the doctor. She doesn't want anyone to know. I think she is ashamed. I hope I can find the correct words. I will explain the depression in the family and I think that will help.

  - Andrea

• November 24, 2009 5:04 p.m.

  I have the opposite problem as Susan. I am happy and content at home. I have recently begun doing little projects at home that I enjoy (or at least feel good about getting done). However, work is something else. I am close to retirement, so don't want to change jobs. I have a boss who devalues me and make me feel like dirt under her shoe. I had a job that I really did enjoy, but was switched to a different job that is much less challenging and it also isolated me away from work friends. The only good thing is that friends don't desert you because your location change, and I don't have to deal with my boss as closely. The self talk, trying to maintain a positive attitude, reading inspirational/self help material on my breaks and medication help.

  - Lorraine

• November 18, 2009 3:29 p.m.

  I worked for the largest mental health facility in my area and even while undergoing treatment for my TRD I was fired for lost productivity! Where is the ADA when we need it most?

  - Eljay

• October 29, 2009 11:24 a.m.

  I agree with Susan--I can keep it together at work because I know that I have to. But my family also suffers with me. When I am at work, I am probably the least productive I can be without anyone really noticing. It is painful to walk down the hall and try to avoid other people because when they ask how you are, you know you just have to try to smile and say "fine," even though you are miserable inside. I count the time until I can go home and lay down. Then my beautiful wonderful daughters come home from school and I try my best to be happy for them and their accomplishments, but it is so hard. Again, I do the minimal to help them with homework, I throw together some type of dinner, but that's it. I'm relieved when my husband comes home to take over and I can go upstairs and lay down again. I just don't know how to break this cycle. It is painful to have to act all day at work and feel so worthless. So--how do we increase productivity within our families when we feel like this?

  - Rose

• October 26, 2009 3:49 p.m.

  You give advice to people who have major depression … any advice for friends that would like to help someone that has major depression? I am not a doctor or give out medication… I am a friend that would like advice (guidance) on trying to help someone that has major depression. Have tried exercise and plan to increase exercise after reading ‘Using exercise to fight depression’. ‘CBT behavioral treatment helps treat insomnia’ … also have read the other blogs on CBT …. In the blogs you stated “working with a trained CBT… I am not a trained CBT, but would it be helpful to ‘chat’ with your friend about this subject? I know doctors don’t like to agree with anything that isn’t ‘trained’ (legal stuff). Seems like a little ‘chat’ every day would be helpful… ‘Everyday’ may help to bridge the two week gap of a trained psychiatrist. Aloha

  - Harry

• October 7, 2009 10:33 p.m.

  I have several medical and mental conditions, some of which contribute to my depression. There is an underlying biological depression that may have been with me all my life, but then there are causes for long term depression, like AD/HD Inattentive Type that has ruined my life and signifficantly adds to the depression. Yet, all the various professionals who I saw over the years try to deal with the depression directly and do not want to deal with the AD/HD. I am on a large dosage of Effexor which prevents me from crying and suicide, but for the AD/HD I am on a dosage of Ritalin that is too small to really help. Any advice?

  - Norbert

• October 6, 2009 5:33 p.m.

  Susan, I have discovered that if I change my way or schedule of doing things, it helps tremendously. Before we moved into town a few years ago, I had horses as well as other animals to feed. I could barely drag myself to the barn and back. Then one day I fed the dogs first instead of last. With that one tiny change, the chores that I felt had become unbearably difficult became almost effortless. Nothing I've done since then has had the same degree of "lifting of the weight" but when I begin to feel as if things are becoming impossible to deal with, I do something just a little different and it does help.

  - Bennie

• October 6, 2009 2:47 p.m.

  When depression is "under control" productivity is up. When depression grabs control, productivity is down. Yes, it is a circle - success breeding more success - but depression interrupts that circle and reverses it. Small steps and accomplishments can help turn it back around, but it takes an incredible amount of determination to really get it going in the right direction again. For myself, the job is the last thing to go. I can pretty much keep it together there, but my home life gets harder and harder. I'm grateful to be a productive employee...but my family is incredibly important to me and we are the losers. I hate it when a bout of stronger depression keeps me from them. So I can't look at productivity as an employment issue only...the around-the-house stuff counts too! I'm looking for tips on how to nudge that cycle in the appropriate direction when another bout of depression ambushes me.

  - susan

• October 1, 2009 8:26 a.m.

  Not only did treating my depressin help me accomplish what I needed to do, my job, my house, my garden and other things, doing these things helped treat my depression, so it is a circle, and this time not a viscious one, but a beneficial one.

  - a