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• Housecall
• Alzheimer's caregiving
• Living with cancer

• December 25, 2009 10:32 p.m.

  Reading the blogs from Tim and Barbara are a big help. Getting nowhere in the medical field as far as info. regarding stress associated with being the primary caregiver. My husband is not allowing for any sadness or tears as this is a sign of negativity not needed in his upcoming treatments. Very hard to supress emotions and keep work schedules and keep track of all the paperwork involved in a major illness. How do people do it?

  - missy

• December 9, 2009 8:38 a.m.

  Tim, take heart. It is possible to get off the merry go round for brief respites. When I taking care of my mother and my aunt, both of whom had alzheimer's disease, I spent hours in the counselor's office. Her adivce? "Your stress levels are way too high." You need to take a monthly break." So one weekend a month, I put both of them into the care of their round the clock care givers and I took off for a local park called "Pere Marquette." It enabled me to regain my sanity and strength and return home intact. Repites for caregivers are just as important as care is for those in need. Barbara A, author of "Cry Depression, Celebrate recovery."

  - BArbara

• November 18, 2009 9:45 p.m.

  It is now Nov 18th 2009.....one year six months two days from the date of my wifes brain anuerysm. I have been going non stop both physically and emotionally with no real end in sight. It is easy for people to say "slow down" or "Take time for yourself". Is this really a possibility?? I work 60 hrs a week and then come home to care for my wife and children. Is this really a possibility?? I am not complaining in the least bit. I would do anything for my wife and children!!! Just havent found a viable release for my stess and anxiety. I feel extemely guilty if I take even a moment to myself. I feel as though I have failed when i stop to gather my emotions. Am I crazy or just headed toward that WALL everyone talks about?? I have my days when I excuse myself only to break down and cry and then return to my family as though nothing was wrong. In some cases......"Is this really possible??? Not looking for sympathy from anyone. Just used this blog as my room to cry tonight. Thanks for listening.

  - Tim

• November 18, 2009 11:50 a.m.

  I have been involved in volunteer services since i came to the united states than involved in attending to my needs. Recently, i had to say no to an opportunity to volunteer in a hospice so as to attend to some crucial personal needs, even though it pained me to postpone the opportunity. I agree, sometimes can say no.

  - -Hyginus

• October 19, 2009 7:40 p.m.

  I work for a very busy lawyer, and taking time out for myself is an idea that evokes hollow laughter. Its a high stress job by nature. I take time to relax on Sunday. It is after all a day of rest. The Latin Mass is soothing and sends me home calm.

  - Appleby

• October 17, 2009 9:44 a.m.

  "Life is like a roll of toilet paper: the closer you get to the end,the faster it goes." One feels as if "The faster I run, the slower I go." The Red Queen was right, "We have to run just to stay in place." As Christine wrote: we have to say "no" once in awhile. Vounteering may be saintly, but one must rest for health.

  - Roberta S.

• October 16, 2009 8:50 p.m.

  Everyday I think to myself..." I need more time!" I too feel guilty even if I sit and rest a bit in my day. Being a single Mom with three children keeps me running late into the evenings. I think we all need to slow down and take a deep breath, smile at ourselves for our accomplishments. Most of all, we probably need to learn to say "no" once in awhile! lol-I think I can...

  - Christine

• October 14, 2009 6:18 p.m.

  I find this to be true daily! With 3 kids to care for and run to soccer, skating and other activities I rarely find time for myself. Even trying to schedule time during the day is difficult. We are always asked to do more and my question is when is it all enough! We are a family trying to go back to the Basics, do what is important not what is expected...wish us luck!!

  - Peggy

• October 13, 2009 3:54 p.m.

  Dr. Creagen, Thank you for writing about this subject. I think this is why moms and dads are so tired and that a large number of marriages have problems. We're so busy meeting kids and spouses needs, and society tells us that we're selfish for taking care of ourselves. "Selfless service" is the goal to strive for. The point that people are missing is that if the care givers don't take care of themselves, then they will become one of the "cared for" through poor health, mental health or relationship challenges, or simply becoming burned out. Again, thanks for bringing this subject to light.

  - Nancy

• October 13, 2009 2:59 p.m.

  I began my career during time when workaholics were rewarded very well, usually with a bonus. This was an incentive to work even harder the next time. Now the habit is pretty much unbreakable. When I take a break or rest for a moment I feel like I am slacking off. My only hope is retirement! 12 more years.

  - Linda