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• January 8, 2010 7:51 p.m.

  I too tire of the word "stress" and its common negative meaning. Hans Selye coined the word. naming it for the experience of carving logs. Selye also determined the existence of good stress, or the reality of being challenged to grow when trying circumstances come about. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from trying situations. It is commonly said that children possess this characteristic in spades. My experience of working part time in a preschool gives credence to this theory. Just watch small children. When someone hurts them, they cry, get some reassurance from someone esle, pick themselves up and move on. We adults could learn from that. Bounce back!!!!!! Barbara A Author of "Cry Depression,Celebrate recovery."

  - Barbara A

• May 3, 2008 9:49 a.m.

  I thought I was a resilient person... However, I have been "knocked down" with one injury after another, hip surgery, ligament tears just happening in my feet.. doctor says it is just bad luck... it has taken years off of work- because I work in a hospital on my feet, running around at an extreme fast pace.. lots of stress..(eventhough I have liked the work).. I am only 44-- last 6 years have been choppy-- i take a year off, go back to work, and it happens again... Is this resilience.. just had another tear in my foot-- Now, I am afraid to go back to work.. afraid another injury is going to knock me off of work again. Its embarrassing, killing my career...What can I do? What is going on? How do I get resilience not to be afraid to go back to work??

  - kitt

• May 3, 2008 3:34 a.m.

  When life seem to start to crumble because of all the stressors around me I always take time to quiet all the noise from the outside world and pray to God to give me strength to take all puny problems around me. For i know that God is larger than all the stressors around me. And He is... Some may not believe but my faith is the only thing that brings out my resiliency after migrating and working here in US and leaving the things i grow up with and familiar to, being away from my loved ones, betrayal of people i have learned to call "friends", working in a very stressful environment(nurse in Critical Care),losing my Granddad and Dad a week apart and becoming the breadwinner for my family. " Learn not to listen to the noise from the outside world but learn to listen to voice of God within you. That's the secret of living life beautifully!!"

  - Iris, Rn

• May 1, 2008 11:38 p.m.

  All stress is relative, and what one person at any given point in their life can cope with varies depending on circumstance. Experience and exposure to resilience makes an individual stronger and more able to cope. Resilience may be an inbuilt personallity trait but it can also be learned, and i think it is the most important life skill we can teach our children. The very gift of life itself is what we should be marvelling at. Happiness and enlightenment are not entitlements. Both must be sought, learned and maintained through hard work, and hard knocks.

  - Dan

• April 13, 2008 8:45 a.m.

  I have many stressors but they motivate me to do better. I have had bad stresses but I learnt from my father "do your best". I bounce back during stress thinking I haven't done my best yet. I also think God gives me a stress because He knows I can handle it.

  - Supernurse

• March 17, 2008 12:57 p.m.

  I have found that I make the dumbest decisions when under pressure making bad situations worse. I have made it a habit to "take a breather" and realize that not everyone decision needs to be made right now. Especially when I'm emotionally going haywire as my body responds to stress, I can't think clearly. So, I try to distance myself from the decision to think it over. Even when others try to pressure me. This helps me to keep calm in the midst of chaos and not make bad times worse because I can't think.

  - Jaimie

• February 19, 2008 8:31 p.m.

  Im a new entry to this blog. Well I can understand what u r saying. I give myself self confidence and say to myself that I CAN DO. But I feel the stress of my previous day and I lose Concentration. Is there resiliency on me?

  - AK

• February 10, 2008 3:08 p.m.

  If there is one word I am sick of it's stress. It is muttered everywhere. When I was growing up it was just one of those terms we used for pressure or making a point. Now I hear it everyday, even from the mouths of babes. I used to love stress. At least it was what I used to get through many difficult times. I found it calming. I made so many crucial decisions,I stood still, able to focus better than my co workers. I am not talking about adult ADD if there is such a thing! Life is complicated that is a fact. Why now are we so mesmerized with this word? In a different time, people too had to make decisions, have daily responsiblities without the aid of Pharmacological cocktails, social services, countless programs, tons of literature to educate us in all its forms. We need to realize that everyone of us needs some "stress". It keeps us alive. Learn to accept what we cannnot change. Love Life. There is nothing like the present to represent the past or predict the fu

  - Susan

• December 30, 2007 8:47 p.m.

  I wonder much about the will power of mankind - it is amazing! In our lives, I am a healthy wife and mother of 5 (soon to be, 5 will be arriving soon) - overall, my family is blessed with good health. Yet, there are challenges in life that beset our way: daily routines/requirements from work/school, finances, maintenance of temporal/spiritual well-being - nothing uncommon to anyone on the planet. But it has become overwhelming recently, and it is then that I really on my spirituality to rejuvinate and refresh me. It becomes a matter of discipline to find/make the time to accomplish this, but when it is done it is all for the better - for everyone! Recently, I think my stress levels have maxed out and look forward to my next prenatal check-up (tomorrow) for a proper assessment. My skin tingles (a strong itching sensation) at any given time. In assessing this over the past few days, it seems to occur most when I'm feeling stressed, but has also occurred even while at rest. Curious...

  - Lynn

• December 8, 2007 8:03 a.m.

  I'm 44, a businesman. Just when my wife & I have felt we've had enough stress due to our fast-growing business, she was diagnosed with Acute Leukemia few days before last Christmas. All her workload- which I knew nothing about- I had to quickly learn, on top of my already toxic responsibilities. I really felt I would not be able to cope- caring for 2 growing kids, sustaining 500 employees, facing increased business competition,handling betrayals committed by former employees, dealing with my own physical infirmities...I think the best thing I did was to stay steady, look up to the Heavens & believe in the goodness of the One who said He loved me & would help me...Well, He sure did. My wife is doing so well that she amazes her own doctors, breezzing through a whole year of intensive chemo. We're taking a long vacation soon, taking a break from a business that is doing very well. I feel stronger, appreciate life much deeper,& feel I'm walking taller."For when I am we

  - Ed C. from Manila, Philipines

• December 4, 2007 11:20 a.m.

  Between being married, working full time, being a Company Commander of National Guard unit and taking care of a house and home is a busy life. My motto is take things that life throws at you, deal with it and get over it before the next one hits. Enjoy what time you have and don't make it worse on yourself by not going to work, getting out of bed and therefore making financial issues worse. Eat healthy, take care of yourself and do what you can do in a given day.

  - Micah

• November 20, 2007 12:08 p.m.

  In most cases it's a decision, just like love is a decision. Too much emphasis is placed on feelings today. I agree if you have a chemical imbalance due to stress it can lead to anxiety and depression, so it is vitally important to take care of yourself physically: eat whole foods, rest and exercise, appreciate nature, animals and loved ones. But then you have to make the decision: let go of anger and hurt and focus on new beginnings, learn from past mistakes. Realize that you can't undo the past, life is not always fair or within your control. That's when you make the decision to go forward, get over it and start the next chapter in your personal adventure!

  - Bonnie

• November 20, 2007 10:16 a.m.

  Don't smoke. Don't use alcohol. Exercise 60 mins to 90 mins each day. Avoid unnecessary clashing/talking. Find a 12 step or support group. Eat 5 fruits and 4 vegetables each day. Make a daily gratitude list. Have goals. Don't use drugs. Stay away from the head doctors (licensed drug dealers). Do games like scrabble blaster. Do something each day you have never done before. Floss 2x a day. Put the cap on the toothpaste. Make your bed. Hit your knees and say thank you. Stretch or do yoga. Do something each day for someone and don't tell. Pick up litter. Ride a bicycle and walk or take bus instead of driving. Smile at everyone you see and mean it. Read www.refdesk.com .... yeah life!

  - St. Darwin Assissi's cat

• November 14, 2007 8:05 a.m.

  As the times we live in grow increasingly more difficult and violent; and stresses multiply; I reflect on what the Bible teaches. I have a secure hope for the future and a promised new earth. Faith is crucial in these times. Learning what God's word says about them gives us a strong hope. I also work constantly at building appreciation for all the good we have each day. I wake up with a smile, and think of all the things that make my glass "half-full" regardless of serious things I have had to endure. There are many in my 57 years on this earth. The list is too long to recant. It is all in the attitude. I am the " 1 in 4" who has bounced back all of my life. Gratefully so. My faith has sealed that.

  - Suzie-Q

• October 30, 2007 6:28 p.m.

  Sundays are great at getting rid of stress from the week, as I can go to church and let loose in prayer & worship to God. Getting my thoughts on Him helps me a lot.

  - Donna

• October 27, 2007 9:22 p.m.

  I think it's an innate will to live...I'm only 27, but feel like I've been through two lifetimes of very difficult experiences. Yet somehow, I feel this intense will to keep going, as if I must find and fulfill my purpose here on earth. Practically speaking, I think people need to know more about stress relievers like meditation, acupuncture, breathing techniques, and supplements. They can definitely help you bounce back when things get tough. I've actually been talking about this as it relates to dealing with the flu (since it's flu season and stress can play a factor). http://www.livevitaminfoods.com/vitaminblog But I do think that the more love and joy you have in your life, the better you're able to "bounce back."

  - Jeff

• October 27, 2007 8:56 a.m.

  I have come to believe that people have a level of resiliency that is "set" at birth.

  - Kelly

• October 25, 2007 8:49 a.m.

  I am now in my mid-50's and life has often given my husband and myself saw very tough situations with a mentally ill father and daughter. 6 days a week, my hubby and I run. The first half of the run we usually are thinking and conversing. There are 6 hills on our run. On the way back, the 5th hill is where we begin to pray together, being so aware of God's presence in our personal lives and in our marriage. At the top of the 6th hill, we begin to mention to God all that we are thankful for and then we pray for our needs and for the needs of others. By the time we reach home, our spirits are calm, full of joy and peace...ready for another day. I really believe nothing comes into our lives that is not sifted through the hands of a loving God. So both physical and spiritual exercise daily lifts us up! Blessings.

  - Faye

• October 24, 2007 3:02 p.m.

  I believe there are good doses of nature and nurture in resiliency. Both of my parents are very resilient and watching their resiliency as I grew greatly impacted me. I learned then and have experienced in my life that if you are resilient, eventually, things work out just the way you want them to, or, ahem, the way you make them.

  - Kelly

• October 24, 2007 12:32 p.m.

  I believe some people are born with the ability to bounce back; the optimists. My husband's mother said of her four children, he, from infancy on, was the one who accepted whatever was thrown his way. Interestingly, she had a mother and a sister with the same temperment. He is able to just stop thinking about bad things and get on with life. I envy him.

  - K Ryan

• October 24, 2007 11:28 a.m.

  I have just gone through a divorce after 40 years of marriage. My Ex husband was having an affair and wanted the divorce so he could be with this woman. I also have found that daily journaling works. It is also insightful to go back and read what you wrote.

  - Terry

• October 24, 2007 10:34 a.m.

  When stress hits me, I take a long walk in the woods, a ride in the rain, some times shed a tear or two. And sadly to say punch holes in the walls....when thing just get to bad,,

  - den

• October 23, 2007 8:37 p.m.

  i am only 31 years old.in the year 2006 i found out i had cervical cancer and had to have my cervix taken out.now a year and a half later it has come back but on my left ovarie and left tub.i have cried and cried.i was hoping it was gone for good.it is very depressing for me.all i do is ask why?i am scared not knowing how bad it is.

  - christykyle

• October 23, 2007 6:05 p.m.

  Amy - Congradulations on having the strength to get over the stress. However, instead of saying that "God" gave you the strength, realize that you had that strength within you the whole time. Take some credit for your triumph! Don't pass it off as an otherworldly thing...it came from inside YOU!

  - Wesley

• October 23, 2007 4:06 p.m.

  It is an ongoing battle. Exercise, eating habits, prayer, self talk meditation. Whatever does not works one day might work the next. It helps to stop & ask if the thing you are upset about will matter 5 years down the road. It also helps to choose your battles. Some things you just can't change. Self care really matters--preparing for stressful times ahead by extra sleep, exercise, diet.

  - debby