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Stress

With Mayo Clinic oncologist Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

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October 30, 2007 10:27 a.m.

Life's not fair, but seize the reins

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By Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

As I reflect on the insightful postings on our blog, I am reminded of some powerful childhood experiences. Let me explain.

My father had a serious allergic reaction to a condition called "work." But he made a very comfortable living, if sometimes unpredictable, as a professional handicapper betting on thoroughbreds. It was a full time job. He called the East Coast tracks "temples of hope."

Most of our friends were racetrack characters right out of central casting. Jockeys and their agents, valets, grooms, exercise riders, trainers and assorted backstretch people who never had real names. Just nicknames.

The best years for them were in the past and most were running from something. Almost everyone was looking for the next hot horse, the sure winner and winning the trifecta. As a little boy I heard about the unfairness of life and lots of "what ifs, if only." Few ever recognized that life reflects choices and options ... not just luck.

Sure, things happen over which we have no control, but we need to be proactive and take responsibility for our lives just like we are hearing from our fellow travelers on this site.

So, how do we creatively grapple with life's unfairness and how do we keep our hands on the reins and control our destiny?

One of the best pieces of advice from my father: Never bet on anything that eats, has a tail or fur.

Peace ... Dr. Ed

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5 comments posted

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January 5, 2008 7:21 a.m.

How true that we can determine our destiny. It all begins with our perceptions. sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.

- Kathy

November 27, 2007 11:04 p.m.

I believe there will always be a stress of some kind in our lives, all of our lives. Some folks live with it much easier than others, and it does seem to be the mindset they have. I think if you find something in your life that you really like, in addition to your work or family responsibilities, it helps. Having an outlet that you care about helps you to keep more focused and not worry about stress. As a busy mom of four I chose to start a small home based business to create something of my own and for my family. I chose a family oriented company and it fit right into my life. I can be as creative as I want and put as much time as I want, and being in charge of this is very rewarding. Positive mindset goes a long way toward feeling good every day. -Vicki Zerbee http://www.bestkeptsecretsrevealed.blogspot.com

- Vicki Zerbee

November 6, 2007 8:52 p.m.

I can relate to Donnah's posting. I have been 'the one to contact' by my family and friends and friends of friends when 'an ear' is needed. Although I feel honoured that 'they' value my opinions, I feel burnt out, yet I continue to serve. I have 2 grown adult children (a son and a daughter) who were raised solely by me since the beginning of their teen years. I like to think successfully. They are good people...loving, caring, servers but I have an aching heart. My daughter, married with 2 children lives only 5 minutes away from me and yet I am not 'allowed' to see them, for some unknown reason. It's been almost a year now, since my daughter ceased contact...no, I can't see my grandchildren either and we WERE very close. She suffers from bipolar disease, depression and I suspect an unhappy marriage, at times. Her husband changes jobs regularly and I feel she must be embarrassed about this (just a mom's feeling about it)...could be wrong, hmmmm. Yes the Serenity Prayer!

- Annie

November 1, 2007 4:28 p.m.

To the names of Mother Theresa and John Wayne can be added many saints and sages from other cultures and times, reminding us of our power to find faith, motivation and meaning in the midst of doubt.

- Alan

October 31, 2007 8:54 a.m.

Peace to all... I'm on another track right now...and this is something I needed to do for me. I had to stop thinking I was Mother Teresa's substitute or on my way to sainthood. I know many ways of handling stress, but I had to stop making excuses for the behaviour of others and also accept that "bad things happen to good people." I had to allow myself to weep, get angry, and retreat into my cave for awhile. Thinking I always had to be the strong, understanding person was a disservice to myself. I'm sad and grieving--but in many ways I feel better. I think I got lost in platitudes and the John Wayne syndrome. "Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." Well, sometimes it's ok to let you and your horse rest first. I don't know if I'm making sense to anyone else, but it made sense to me. The Serenity Prayer helps so much. I am relieved I don't always have to be dutiful and a pillar of strength.

- Donnah