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  • Stress blog

  • Nov. 9, 2007

    You have to know your limits

    By Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

7 comments posted

My colleague and friend said, "Ed, I never saw it coming."

Here's the rest of the story. High octane power broker, age 52, on umpteen corporate boards, Master of the Universe, with multiple irons in the fire, uber-multi-tasker, with nonstop commitments on a global scale. His belt sagged from 4 techno-gadgets keeping him connected to the rest of the world. Get the picture? No, I am not kidding.

He gave 3 black tie presentations in 1 week in 3 different cities, 3 different hotels, and 3 different time zones. Got off his exercise and food routine, was sleeping poorly and drinking too much. Knew what to do but admitted that he got swept away in the energy of these events. It was a very seductive week and " ... how could I say no to so many worthy causes?"

Guess what? Arrived home after this Grand Tour of Corporate America with drenching sweats, diffuse joint and muscle pain, overwhelming fatigue, depression, and just felt lousy. Oh, by the way, 2 canceled flights on the way home.

One positive thing he did was to see his local physician, who diagnosed a viral/flu-type syndrome, at least in some part provoked by a very stressful timetable. Eventually, there is a limit and most of us do not know when the tank has run dry until something bad happens ... as in my friend's case. He was clueless about what could happen when there is no margin for recovery, no time to recoup and heal.

So a lesson for each of us is to recognize there are limits, and without keen attention to our physical and emotional needs we are at risk for a stress-related event, burnout, exhaustion ... if not now, then at some time. From our blog community we have learned that we have choices and options.

7 comments posted

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  • January 6, 2010 10:21 p.m.

    After two and a half years of taking care of my mother during her battle with Alzheimer's, I decided to make a very unpopular decision. Mom's twin sister was under my care as well. I made the difficult choice of putting her in a nursing home. My well had run dry and I put my own health at risk by taking care of her. Barbara A "Cry Depression, Celebrate Recovery." coming out soon!!!!!!!!!!

    - Barbara a

  • January 4, 2008 7:54 a.m.

    How do I deal with a 42 year old stepson I can't get out of my home. I moved from Fl. in Oct. to be by my real son & grand kids. But my wife said he had know were to go so he has to come with. I have tryed to get him out of my home. But he won't save his money to get out. When we lived in Fl. I loaned him & a freind the money to get there own place just so wmy wife & I could have are own place. That was nice. O by the way did I tell you he is very abuseive. He has beat me up brock ribs. I wan't him gone. My wife said we can't throw him out in the cold. I am very afraid of him. I think if there is a next time I may not be alive. The fights are at the max. Please someone out there help me PLEASEEEEEEEEEE Lynn in Old Miss

    - Lynn in old Miss.

  • January 4, 2008 5:05 a.m.

    I am a single mum and also a grandmother of 3. I was always busy just doing the every day chores and I would keep going even when I was tired. If there was a job to do, I would do it to the best of my ability at that time. I never learnt to say no or even recognise that I had reached my limit until too late. Now I have no option but to slow down and rest or I will stress out and this brings pain/frustration/depression/opression,fatigue,etc. I now ask busy people, rest a whole lot more. Your body,mind and spirit needs time out. Your body doesn't need to have a lot of the aches and pains if you learn to know your limits. When you are young you think "gotta do this, that and the other," but you are actually setting yourself up for these aches and pains. Learn to say no and set limits.

    - Dorothy

  • December 12, 2007 9:14 a.m.

    i need to reduce stress now or i am going to have severe stomach problems. i need stress relieve procedures that do not require meds. any suggestions

    - ruth

  • November 9, 2007 5:41 p.m.

    I went through a similar situation (on a smaller scale) earlier this year when I was part of an ameature dance troupe. We kept booking shows--two a week for a while-- and my troupe mates always wanted to perform (and choreograph) new routines, with new costumes...it became too much to handle. Too much time, money, and stress. Unfortunately, not only did I get physically ill, my stress caused me to lash out at my troupe mates and try to solve problems ineffectively. I quite the troupe after a 6 month run of non-stop work. The stress cost me friendships and my love of dance. I'm not sad to lose the pushy people that seemed to run my life. But, I regret not putting my foot down earlier and saying "enough!". So...it's not just work obligations/expectations that can stress us out...it can be the things we love, too, if we don't set limits early on.

    - Erin

  • November 9, 2007 12:15 p.m.

    Did your friend learn his lesson and slow down? lol

    - Trysh

  • November 9, 2007 7:40 a.m.

    When I would let myself get so stressed out by either daily mishaps or future problems or tasks I had to perform I could feel my whole body get so weird feeling. It was like there was a huge pressure on my whole body and it would feel surreal. This feeling would last for days and I didn't know how to make myself feel better. I am on Lexapro now that helps with general anxiety disorder and so far I haven't felt that horrible feeling for a long time. I haven't had anything really horrible happen lately though like someone close to me being in danger or dying. Also I haven't had any medical procedures (I'm frightened of those) so we'll see if Lexapro helps me through those experiences, I hope it does. But the day to day stuff I'm in control now.

    - Rachel

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