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Stress

With Mayo Clinic oncologist Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

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January 10, 2008 3:14 p.m.

Light at the end of the tunnel

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By Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

As always, we here in Minnesota are so grateful for the thoughtful comments and the heartfelt contributions from our digital community. We find it fascinating that commentaries from around the world focus on our struggles with fundamental issues. Let me explain.

A casual conversation over the weekend from a friend who was dealt a major financial and psychological blow was important to share. The individual was a prominent business person, early fifties, who went through a series of personal and financial reversals. The individual shared with me in so many words that life is not perfect; there is not always a rainbow; and sometimes our dreams do not turn out and we all do not live happily ever after.

But what this individual did underscore is the importance of dealing with adversity as it comes at us, seeking out friends and connections, and recognizing that each of us regardless of the credentials that we have, the size of our bank account, or our professional affiliation struggles with demons.

If we stay focused, and if we stay grounded, and if we concentrate on the power of relationships, we will survive. Life will never quite be the way it was but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and by focusing on each day and not being distracted by events too far in the future, we will endure and be strengthened by these experiences.

On another note, please clarify for me the story of the grasshopper and the ant. I think I must have missed that class in school!

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14 comments posted

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May 11, 2008 4:35 a.m.

I think finding light at the end of the tunnel has a lot to do with working through painful emotions. I have too many thoughts about emotions to type here, but I have posted them as an e-book at www.wanterfall.com (free to read online or download, as preferred). Maybe it will prove helpful to someone - hope so:) Best wishes, Gordon

- Gordon Coates

February 13, 2008 9:32 p.m.

Having been in a situation where there has been several financial and health reversals over the last four years, I can only say that it has been an educational and "character developement" time of my life. I hope it has made me a stronger and more compassionate person. I have had to accept that there will be good and bad periods, and learn to enjoy the good periods, no matter how short they are. During the good periods, try not to anticipate the trials that will surely come later. A thought to ponder on a lighter note. Some wag once said to me," Be careful that the light at the end of the tunnell is not attached to a fast approaching train".

- Greg

January 29, 2008 9:34 p.m.

Stress is an everyday emotion. It can be toned down but rarely avoided.I know this from experience. If you take medicaions, sometimes they can help...depending what they are meant to do. Then there the ones that seem to go against you but for the better good! I'm sill trying to figure out that one! I'm an Epileptic, severe with many different types. I don't have an aura to help me know when one is going to strike me. They are always caused by stress. I broke my nose and dislocated my shoulded a few weeks ago because I have been trying to stop Solo Mobile from charging me for not using my cell phone and to disconnect my phone. They refuse to disconnect my phone. No reasoning wih these people. They won't explain anything to me which made my stress much higher. My specialist even gave me adavant to take in an "emergency" when speaking with Solo. I now am looking to the public for any help/advise you can give me to tone these attacks down. Any suggestions? Anyone?

- Patricia

January 24, 2008 4:11 a.m.

I have been diagnosed with a terminal heart disease. And you know ? Some people keep telling me that it's "all in my head", and that I "only think I'm ill!" I realize they are trying to be helpful, but it's awfully annoying anyway ! That's why I can relate to Di's somewhat bitter observations -- many people can be very insensitive during one's times of pain and stress.

- Carlton Figg

January 22, 2008 10:13 p.m.

in regards to Maxine's question I feel it is only good to withdrawl from the people in your life when you are going through a very difficult time struggling to rebuild by no means your fault and they may not realize that they are making you more stressed out just by not understanding I withdrawl only from those who make me feel worse than I already do I only wish they could put themselves in my shoes and see what I go through every day having to fight for my energy I find my situation a little less stressful when I withdrawl from people I feel just don't get it I only think they'll get it when the lightening strikes them until then you bet for once in my life it's all about me not what I want but I'd rather it be all about me than to have them make me feel worse than I already do and I always thought when something like this happens to a family member it's suppose to bring you closer something I've alway's wanted to be close to my family guess I'm different

- DI

January 22, 2008 9:56 p.m.

I was diagnosed with rr ms a year ago and have little to no support family wise seems like they just don't get how one's whole life can be turned upside down in the blink of an eye I have my own way's of dealing with this life change and understanding it myself and I try to get my family to listen to me and make them understand but they make me feel like it's not ok to talk about it and it's a cake walk I'm tired of trying to make them understand and feeling belittled about myself we all have our ways of dealing with the misfortune in our lives and I'm finding it easier to not to talk to them than to talk to them about my ms and what it's like having to struggle with this demon called ms fatigue depression alot of days I can barely walk I would rather deal with it alone and work on building my new life rather than having crude comments thrown my way I KNOW IT COULD BE WORSE I just don't need to be told that from family I'm not looking for sympathy jst simply respect+ understanding DI

- No name given

January 17, 2008 3:37 p.m.

Having, and being part of, a support system in both good time and bad times, keeps one from gaining a deeper understanding of what is truly important. Living through the good, the bad and the ugly is part of the human experience. The goal is to stay focused on the humane experience that occurs when our support system guides us through the storm and back into the calmness of everyday life.

- Carol

January 16, 2008 12:39 p.m.

Wesley, I agree with you. All fun and no work makes for problems later. We need to check on the future before we play and enjoy.

- Eileen

January 15, 2008 7:46 p.m.

When faced with confusion, is it not better to withdraw completely? If I focus, I try to analyze a life event which defies analysis. Thus the dilemma. To leave? To focus and remain grounded?

- Maxie

January 15, 2008 12:04 p.m.

I think the story just reiterates how important Balance is in our lives: we can't always lay around but we also can't always work. I think the ant's house would be just as snug and cozy even if he had played with the grasshopper a couple times a season :o)

- Erin