Mayo Clinic medical information and tools for healthy living

Connect with an expert

Stress

With Mayo Clinic oncologist Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

Back to posting index

March 18, 2008 3:03 p.m.

The buck stops with us

9 comments posted

Read comments | Post a comment

By Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

Every once in awhile there is a quote or a series of quotes shared by members of our blog community. Two of these especially come to mind:

As we think so we become, and
Our attitude creates reality

In other words, our reaction to a situation determines the amount of stress we will have. So, what does this mean from a practical standpoint?

If we become upset, angry, or disappointed over an event, a person, or a circumstance, we are giving up our peace of mind and our serenity to that person, to that event, or to that situation. If I am stuck in traffic and I am running late for an appointment and if I am frustrated and angry, I have given up my serenity and my peace of mind to a traffic jam over which I have no control.

If any of us doubt this wisdom, let us repeat tomorrow morning, "I will have a lousy day," five times. Guess what, this will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. On the other hand, if we tell ourselves this will be a day of miracles and something wonderful will happen, the probability is much greater that yes indeed it will be creative and a fulfilling day.

So, I think we are learning from each other that there are no simple solutions, there are no quick fixes, but by reframing the way we view a problem we can better retain our serenity and peace of mind because after all, if our health deteriorates, nothing else really matters.

The buck does stop with us and to a very real extent we need to be proactive and assertive in securing, maintaining, and nurturing our physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being.

Add to del.icio.us

Digg This

Add to Technorati

Stumble It!

9 comments posted

Read comments | Post a comment

Back to posting index

July 2, 2008 1:53 p.m.

Dear Not Important, It may seem like you are not important to anyone. But, you have to be important enough to yourself to seek help. Your mental and physical health are ultimately in your hands. Read books, do research on your conditions, find answers, find a support group. Seek out what you need. Try something to relieve stress. Do not be ashamed of that. You deserve to be happy and whole. http://www.stress-relief-for-well-being.com

- Caroline

April 6, 2008 9:30 a.m.

Dear "Not Important", I want you to know that YOU are important to ME. I am going thru the horror of multiple diseases, doctors that throw pain, anxiety, and depression meds at me, but won't look at my symptoms and try to put all the pieces together. I cry, I know that they REALLY don't care, I get angry, but when I have the strength, I search the internet. You don't know who to turn to, sometimes you just need to talk, to let it out. I'm a vet, and I finally called the VA 24hr hotline. I was connected to the most compassionate, educated, intelligent woman, who really listened to everything I have been going thru, what my doctors have put me thru. She supports my decision to try to go to the Mayo Clinic, no matter how difficult and expensive it will be, and I even have insurance through my employer, lousy insurance, but having to imagine how much more difficult it would be to get help without it. It is a struggle to get up and go to work each day, to keep the insurance, but my employer was going to drop me after I had been out of work for 6 weeks, unless I paid my cost of the insurance up front. With what? So I drag myself in each day, trying to save the $5000 my insurance requires me to cough up before they pay the diferrence. There is no compassion, there is no grace. Not from them. But there has got to be some out there for you. I found it through the VA. I hope someone who has some REAL answers to direct you to find help will see this, and reach out to y

- Cheryl

April 2, 2008 10:58 a.m.

What about stess in a caregiver? My husband and I are both 83 years old and my husband has Alzheimer's. We are still able to live in our condo and I am the caregiver. The stress of an unknown future is the hardest part and feel not much can be done about it. A feeling of futility is setting in.

- A Hein

March 28, 2008 1:26 p.m.

" He Conquers who Endures"

- romain

March 27, 2008 11:21 a.m.

I have read the comments and believe that positive self talk as well as looking at the positive things that happen to us on a daily basis are crucial for us. Focusing one the good things that are happening as well as staying in the present moment keeps us focused. What can we do to make our little corner of the world a sane place to live? If we focus on all the intangibles we have no control over we become frustrated, disheartened and are ready to exit this world. Life is a challenge and sometimes really hard but we can set limits on the chaos and craziness we allow to impact us.

- Linda, Mpls

March 21, 2008 8:29 a.m.

Yes, I think the simple phrase "there are no simple solutions" is the key to this wonderful reminder. Yes there are complex problems with no easy solutions but let's not add to the situation by contributing negativity. We owe it to ourselves to do the best we can!

- Mary Logan

March 19, 2008 1:30 p.m.

dear not important I was and on occasion still feel not important and it was very hard. I feel the same way about the article but I hope that you can look beyond your pain and know that by some positive self talk you can feel a bit better about yourself. Know that there are many people out there who are feeling the same way and that they all hope you can start to feel in control. Know that at least one person is rooting for you

- Thought I wasn't important

March 19, 2008 8:24 a.m.

What about events beyond our control - now we are marking the 5th year of the war in Iraq; no lessening of terrorism in the world; the state of the economy; mortage foreclosures. Sure I can deal with a traffic jam, but what about the issues of the world that makes life in general hard to cope with?

- Miranda

March 18, 2008 11:37 p.m.

that's all well, and nicely written, but when you have major depression and are in cronic pain the words don't mean alot. how do you solve those types of problems? especially when you have no personal support system?

- not important