Taking care of someone with Alz is at once devastating, and heart warming. I found respite in the humorous moments... and treasure them even now that my Mom has passed. She was a sharp cookie, and even in late stages was pretty good at guessing a right answer or pretending to be toying with me when I'd ask if she remembered my name. I'll never forget our one visit to the hospital, and her confusion. She invented a more comforting reason for being there - a client of her old business had "built the building" & she was sure she was there to help him inspect the place. So, off she rolled in her wheelchair, remarking on every little thing. Then, when I arrived, I saw her wheeled in front of the nurses station, and she demanded to know when I'd be taking her to see her client. While I tried patiently to explain that she was in the hospital, she hollered at me "Oh no, you're behind the times!" Every nurse on the floor cracked up! Those little moments, as sad as they are in one way, are precious relief. Remember to see the soul beneath the disease, and know that in the slightest moments of kindness & pleasure, they DO find comfort. You are making a huge difference by being there. You're helping them feel safe in the most frightening landscape of the unknown & forgotten. Here's to all of you who care enough to devote yourselves to being a loving bridge for them.

My loved one was in another state and we thought was being taken care of by her daughter. She meant well but did not sit with her to eat and she dropped to 75 lbs. Was ignorant of the disease and let her drive. I would ask over and over take the keys away..One evenening she walked away from her home and was found in a mall after closing. Could not tell police where she lived but luckily had her id in purse. My nephew went to get her and took her home. He statyed for 2 days then sister took over again. She did not have any patience as a caregiver and put mom in a group home. Mom was very upset and confused. We went to visit every 2 weeks until we felt it was better to get her out and bring her to our state. Hospice told us to put her in an aszheimer facility only. They are trained and that is all they focus on. Mom seemed so happy and loved all the animals they kept on the property. Unfortunately she fell 2 weeks later and had a hip replacement. Was put in a rehab facility and was walking with assistance. We talked her through her therapy until the news of a bedsoar. It got out of hand and the infection is what took her life. A blesssing she did not have to suffer for 10 years, but lack of medical attention when she was under nurses care every day was so hard to grasp. Our hearts were so broken. I want the laws changed to protect our loved ones whom cannot express their pain. All facilities should be required Alzheimer training classes as part of the requirement for hiring. M

My father is in the final stage. I had to move him to a home 2 years ago because he lost all sense of personal safety. After 3 trips to the ER in as many months his doctor took me by the hand & gave me these simple words of wisdom, "You will not be able to do this forever...for his sake as well as yours." He was moved into a home from the hospital 2 years ago. I cried all the way home and for weeks afterwards. Then I noticed he looked better physically than he had with me for a while. I knew the Doc had been right. Soon after he was in a wheel chair as he "forgot" how to walk. A period of having to restrain him followed because he did not know he could not walk. I visit him weekly at random times & days. He is in a loving/caring/spirtual environment. He does not recognize me any more. I am either a stranger or his sister, no longer his daughter. He started to loose weight 6 months ago and This week he has started to refuse food. This is the first week I have felt totally helpless in a while. I cried while discussing his current state with his RN. I love my Dad, I know he is already gone mentally. We are just waiting for his body to catch up. I lost my Mom to this disease in Nov 1997. I was young, my Dad took care of her until the end. I did not realize at the time what her ailment was. They choose not to tell us. I know my Dad will be happy to be reunited with Mom!!! To all of you caregivers, my applause & support!!! Take time for yourself

Well last time I wrote anything on this site was just March 17th. Now I'm writing to say my wonderful Dad passed away yesterday. I can't not believe how fast this horrific disease had totally consumed my Dad and now he is gone after only 3 years. Sunday my Dad did not sleep at all, he hardley slept any days, and then finally fell asleep about 7am on Monday. My step Mom tried to wake him up about 7 that night and he wouldn't wake up. She called 911. She called me around mid night and said they were putting my Dad on a ventalater until I got there. He lives in another state. I got there around 4pm the next day. My Dad was so small. This young 57 year old man looked 100 years old. All his organs were starting to fail. We told them the doctor that we were ready to take him off the ventalater, the doctor told us he wanted to wait until the next day because he wanted another brain test done. We were all so upset, no matter what we said they made us wait. So we sat with my dad all night and talked to him and told him how much we loved him. They finally took him off ventalater at 10am and he was gone at 10:23 yesterday. My Dad is a doner and everything that is still good will go to someone in need. My Dads brain will be donated for research for this dignity robbing disease. It has to be stopped. Thanks for listening, I will still visit this site offten. Good luck everyone and may God be with you all.

Soon my parents'62nd wedding anniversary will be here. My father had Alzheimers for several years and died just last fall. We were lucky that he saved money and was able to be cared for in the home along with care from my loving mother, myself and some siblings. My question is, what is the best way to help my mother on the first wedding anniversay after his death? I know she will be sad. Thanks, Megan

We lost our mother this last October . I will always remember my son calling to tell me. After 9 long yrs she is finally at peace. I triesd for 7 yrs to keep her home but it was really hard on my family and the hardest thing was to admit that it was out of our hands. You know when the time is right to move your loved one from their home in your heart and mind. Remember the person that you really know has shared every thing with you and given you the answer by example or words along the way. Are they safe? Are they eating enough? Are they wandering or falling? Are they driving and could they potentially be a harm to innocent others that they may hit or could they cause an accident and be hit? If the answer could even possible be YES then they should no longer drive!!! Remember they are not able to make the proper decisions sometimes so if you know in your heart that they are unsafe you may have to make the decision. "when you were young I held you close and kept you safe so that one day you could take my place." My mother use to say that as I grow up. I really miss her but find so much hel;p in her teachings that I know she left knowing her job was done and in November we were blessed with a grandchild for us do pass on her wisdom and her teaching to. Please remember Your family member is locked inside of a body that now needs you to lead the way for the rest of the journey. They depend on those around them to keep them safe and help them to live out the rest of thei

Alzheimers has recently taken the life of my beloved "Nona" who meant the world to me. Once I became an adult I realized the wonderful wisdom and knowledge she had given me throughout her 82 years on this earth. As her granddaughter I was blessed to have her show me four wonderful generations(her, my mom, myself and my beautiful daughter). She gave me more than I could have ever hoped for in a lifetime This disease caused my grandmother to sometimes get very angry because I believe she didn't know what was happening to her mind and that in turn would make very confused and annoyed. I thank god for the love and support that my mother gave her. Because she gave up her life for over 10 years to care for her night and day. Hard part as a family member is that one day they may not remember who you from one day to the next. But always hold on to the memories you hold dear to your heart. Because even though they are not there in mind they are there in spirit.

My dad is 62 and has alot of the symptoms of Alzheimers. Unfortunately he has no insurance and has assets to prevent him from getting covered by the state. I did get a doctor at a clinic to listen to me and he started him on Aricept.This all started summer of 2006-my mom informed me alot of their bills weren't getting paid-he is the sole provider, He was getting lost driving and numerous accidents., hadn't paid any state,federal,or local taxes for 6 years.Needless to say this last year he has been saying the same phrase "I wanna die" over and over and has been getting aggressive with my mother {she called 911 and he was 302ed so sad because he didn't even know why he says that or recall what happened}he's paranoid that when she goes somewhere she wont come back ,daily conversations are repetitive of the same subject,he could spend the weekend at my home and not even remember being there,he doesn't know the day,date,month or year most days. A CAT scan showed atrophic changes

I am a primary caregivers for a friend of mine,who has been like a brother to me for almost 29yrs,&who has unfortunately diagnosed with early onset Altzheimer's disease,diagnosed about 4 years ago.He's now 60. His level of functioning has steadily declined since that time,lately far faster than expected. He has no relatives here& most of his other "friends" have conveniently made themselves unavailable to help with respite for us even take him out for dinner or for a weekend to give us a break,show him that they still care. This both saddens&angers me too. I work full time. Still, I have kept him with me for the most part,every weekend,evenings days&anytime I am not working for the past 4 yrs.I set up his meds,&MD appointments usually go with him, have in in adult day care 4 days per week,do bills, cook for him,laundary&more.I know he's scared too but today after his 2nd wandering incident in 4 mo's,home again safe&asleep. I think I'm recognizing t

I noticed Mom "changing" almost ten years ago.She will be 90 in June!My siblings were in denial for quite a while.She still lives in her own home.We take her meals to her and take care of her finances.How do you move her out of her home? When? Mom isn't your usual old lady.Never was content to sit and watch TV or converse! Always busy. When do you make the decision that she can't live in her own home?I think moving to a nursing home would kill her~~my sister disagrees!What is the answer? Bess