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Get StartedCoping and support
By Mayo Clinic staffAlthough it's important to get professional treatment for complicated grief, you can take steps on your own to cope, including:
- Stick to your treatment plan. Take medications as directed and attend therapy appointments as scheduled.
- Exercise regularly. Physical exercise helps relieve depression, stress and anxiety and can redirect your mind to the activity at hand.
- Take care of yourself. Get enough rest, eat a balanced diet and take time to relax. Don't turn to alcohol or illicit drugs for relief.
- Reach out to your faith community. If you follow religious practices or traditions, you may gain comfort from rituals or guidance from a spiritual leader.
- Practice stress management. Learn how to better manage stress. Unmanaged stress can lead to depression, overeating, or other unhealthy thoughts and behaviors.
- Socialize. Stay connected with people you enjoy being around. They can offer support, a shoulder to cry on or a joke to give you a little boost.
- Plan ahead for special dates or anniversaries. Holidays, anniversaries and special occasions can trigger painful reminders of your loved one. Find new ways to celebrate or acknowledge your loved one that provide you comfort and hope.
- Learn new skills. If you were highly dependent on your loved one, perhaps to handle the cooking or finances, for example, try to master these tasks yourself. Ask family, friends or professionals for guidance, if necessary. Seek out community classes and resources, too.
- Join a support group. You may not be ready to join a support group immediately after your loss, but over time you may find shared experiences comforting and you may form meaningful new relationships.
References
- Bereavement. In: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-IV-TR. 4th ed. Arlington, Va.: American Psychiatric Association; 2000. http://www.psychiatryonline.com. Accessed July 13, 2009.
- Lipsitz JD. Interpersonal theory of depression. Gabbard GO, ed. Textbook of Psychotherapeutic Treatments. Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing; 2009. http://www.psychiatryonline.com. Accessed July 13, 2009.
- Marchand L. End-of-life care. In: Rakel RE. Rakel: Textbook of Family Medicine. Philadelphia, Pa.: Saunders Elsevier; 2007. http://www.mdconsult.com/das/book/body/149504704-3/862284999/1494/128.html#4-u1.0-B978-1-4160-2954-0..50085-5_4160. Accessed July 13, 2009.
- Block SD. Grief and bereavement. http://www.uptodate.com/home/index.html. Accessed July 13, 2009.
- Kendler KS, et al. Does bereavement-related major depression differ from major depression associated with other stressful life events? American Journal of Psychiatry.2008;165:1449.
- Abrahm JL. Caring for patients at the end of life. In: Abeloff MD, et al. Abeloff's Clinical Oncology. 4th ed. Philadelphia, Pa.: Churchill Livingstone; 2008. http://www.mdconsult.com/das/book/body/149504704-4/862286866/1709/49.html#4-u1.0-B978-0-443-06694-8..50048-8_1340. Accessed July 13, 2009.
- Siegel MD, et al. Psychiatric illness in the next of kin of patients who die in the intensive care unit. Critical Care Medicine. 2008;36:1722.
- Complicated grief. National Cancer Institute. http://www.nci.nih.gov/cancertopics/pdq/supportivecare/bereavement/Patient/page8. Accessed July 13, 2009.
- Major depression and complicated grief. American Cancer Society. http://www.cancer.org/docroot/MBC/content/MBC_4_1X_Major_Depression_and_Complicated_Grief.asp. Accessed July 13, 2009.
- Simon NM, et al. Complicated grief: A case series using escitalopram. American Journal of Psychiatry. 2007;164:1760.
- Prigerson HG, et al. Inventory of complicated grief: A scale to measure maladaptive symptoms of loss. Psychiatry Research. 1995;59:65.
- Hall-Flavin DK (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn. July 15, 2009.