- With Mayo Clinic certified nurse-midwife
Mary Murry, R.N., C.N.M.
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Mary Murry, R.N., C.N.M.
Mary Murry, R.N., C.N.M.
Mary Murry is a nurse-midwife practitioner who is certified by the American College of Nurse-Midwives.
A Cincinnati native, she is a nurse-midwife and instructor of obstetrics and gynecology in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn.
Mary has been a nurse-midwife practitioner for more than 20 years. She co-edited the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy.
Her research interests include adult female survivors of sexual abuse, women's perception of pain in labor and obesity in pregnancy.
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Pregnancy and you blog
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Oct. 14, 2008
Sex during pregnancy up to the individual
By Mary Murry, R.N., C.N.M.
We are all sexual beings. Sex is, for the most part, how we get pregnant.
Before pregnancy, we might have felt like we were in our sexual prime, had finally gotten the hang of it and were enjoying it. Now along comes pregnancy and suddenly the thought of never having sex again is OK.
You might be nauseated, your breasts are sore and have become no man's land, you have to go to the bathroom all the time and your idea of a good time is a nap that lasts 16 hours. It is typical to lose interest in sex during the first trimester of pregnancy. Besides all of the above mentioned reasons, women just aren't interested in sex during pregnancy. At least during that trimester.
During the second trimester a woman may feel sexual again. The nausea is usually gone, you can stay awake past 8 o'clock and your breasts aren't so tender. Your baby bump is still small enough to accommodate sexual activity. Some women find that their sexual response increases during the second trimester. There is a good reason for that. We gain about 3 pounds in blood during pregnancy and most of it is located below our waist. This increase in blood flow can increase our ability to reach orgasm, even multiple times.
As a woman reaches the end of pregnancy, sex may again be the last thing on her mind. We may not feel particularly sexy with a baby mountain instead of a bump, with feet the size of Delaware and ankles that have ceased to exist and are now cankles (calf ankles). It may seem like too much work and none of the old positions work anymore. Your partner may be giving you big calf eyes. Keep talking to each other. Verbalize your feelings and let him verbalize his.
It seems to me that a lot of men's self-image is connected to their sexual activity. He may feel that your decreased desire is about him. Some men are just fine with the decrease in sexual activity. Men have unique fears about sex during pregnancy. They don't want to harm you or the baby. This may be a good time for cuddling and non-sexual touch. Reassure yourself and your partner that this time will pass.
Please remember, these descriptions I have used are not universal truths. We all are unique and your experiences regarding sex during pregnancy may be very different from what I have described. Postpartum sexual activity is a subject worthy of its own blog so that will be the next one I post.
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