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  • With Mayo Clinic internist

    Sandhya Pruthi, M.D.

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Question

Sex after years of abstinence: OK to resume?

I'm a 76-year-old female. I haven't been sexually active in many years. But I'm in a relationship now and wonder if I'll be able to resume sexual activity again at this late time?

Answer

from Sandhya Pruthi, M.D.

You can resume sexual activity at any time, as long as you're willing to invest a little time and patience.

With age, the vagina and vaginal opening often become smaller — especially when estrogen levels are low. As a result, it can take longer for the vagina to swell and lubricate during sexual arousal. Together these changes can make intercourse painful.

To make sexual intercourse more comfortable:

  • Begin with foreplay. Foreplay helps stimulate natural lubrication.
  • Ensure proper lubrication. Try an over-the-counter lubricant, such as K-Y lubricating jelly. If intercourse remains painful, ask your doctor about vaginal estrogen therapy — available as a vaginal cream, tablet or ring.
  • Try various positions. After a long period of abstinence, it may take time to stretch the vagina so that it can accommodate a penis. Talk to your partner about what works best.

Also remember the need to practice safe sex, especially with a new partner. There's no age limit for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Use a condom every time you have sex, and discuss STD testing with your partner.

Finally, remember that sex is more than intercourse. Touching and cuddling are an important part of sexual activity — and communicating with your partner is the best way to achieve sexual satisfaction.

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References
  1. Aging well, living well: Sexual health. The National Women's Health Information Center. http://www.womenshealth.gov/ow/sexuality/?style=large. Accessed Aug. 21, 2008.
  2. Altman A. Patient information: Sexual problems in women. http://www.uptodate.com/home/index.html. Accessed Aug. 21, 2008.

AN00951

Nov. 8, 2008

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