Stressful situations: What's your current reaction?

Evaluating how you deal with stress is the first step in effective stress management. Look for these behavior patterns.

No wonder you're stressed. At work, it seems you're doing more with fewer resources every day and deadlines lurk around every corner. At home, you take out your frustration on your family. Weekends are booked with household chores and errands. You haven't spent an evening alone with your partner in months.

So how do you handle it? Understanding how you respond to stress today — for better or worse — is the foundation for successful stress management in the future.

Reactions to stress vary

Some people seem to take everything in stride. Their naturally laid-back attitudes shine through in every situation. Another deadline? Bring it on. You needed to be there 10 minutes ago? OK, let's go. The dishwasher is leaking? No problem. It'll be a simple repair.

Others get anxious at the first sign of trouble. They may pace the floor or have difficulty concentrating on the task at hand. An interruption or change in plans may cause a stir. They may toss and turn all night.

Of course, these examples are extremes. Most people have stress responses that fall somewhere in the middle. When you feel confident, you're likely to take new stressors in stride. If you feel cornered or unprepared, your stress level may rise.

Slight differences in the genes that control the stress response may also make you more likely to take problems and challenges as they come — or to get worked up in stressful situations. Your childhood relationship with your parents may play a role as well. Adolescents who have positive relationships with their parents tend to handle stress more effectively as adults.

Look for patterns in your coping strategies

To better understand your reaction to life's stressors consider your current coping behaviors.

Do you tense up? Neck and shoulder tension or clenched jaws or fists are often early warning signs of stress. Stress may cause an upset stomach, shortness of breath, back pain, headaches and other physical symptoms as well.
Do you reach for something to eat? Stress and overeating are often closely related. Stress may trigger you to eat even when you're not hungry or to lose track of your meal and exercise plans.
Do you get impatient? Perhaps you find yourself pacing the floor or twitching nervously. You might have trouble concentrating or falling asleep at night.
Do you get angry? Stress leaves many people with a short fuse. When you're under pressure, you may find yourself arguing with co-workers, friends or loved ones — sometimes with little provocation or about things that have nothing to do with what's actually triggering your stress.
Are you reduced to tears? Stress may trigger crying spells or other emotional releases.
Do you give up? Sometimes stress may be too much to take. You might deny the issue, avoid the problem, call in sick or simply give up.
Do you let negative thoughts take over? When you're under stress, perhaps you automatically expect the worst or magnify the negative aspects of a situation.
Do you smoke? Even if you quit smoking long ago, a cigarette may seem like an easy way to relax when you're under pressure. In fact, stress is often considered the leading cause of smoking relapses. And smoking is a double-edged sword. Aside from the obvious health risks of smoking, nicotine acts as a stimulant — triggering even more stress symptoms.
Do you turn to alcohol or other drugs? Stress leads some people to drink too much or engage in other risky behaviors, including drug abuse.
Do you rely on a single coping technique? Sometimes crying, expressing your anger or isolating yourself from a problem that you can't possibly fix can serve as effective stress management techniques. The same goes for exercising, confiding in friends and other healthy coping techniques. But in the long run, you may need new ways to handle stress, too. If you find yourself using one technique all the time — or you see yourself engaging in unhealthy behaviors — it's time to open yourself up to other stress-reduction strategies.

Take the next step

Try tracking your reactions to stress for the next week. Once you identify how you cope with stressful situations, you can begin to think about alternative strategies. Consider it the first step on the path to positive stress management. The changes won't happen overnight, but new tools to cope with stress are within your reach. Take action today.